[RunningFree]

Your pessimism is a very large part of whats holding you back right now... you're going to have to grow a pair and get over it. In fact, I was reading this study about talking about your goals and dreams to people, and what I learned was that you shouldn't say anything to anyone about it, unless you're looking specific feedback or an opinion. The reasoning was this: The more you talk about it and hear, "Hey that's a great idea!" or "I wish I had thought of that idea" and such similar comments; you develop a false sense of accomplishment and soon start to go after that and think that it's enough to receive recognition for something without doing anything towards your goal.

How this applies to you is this: Don't look here for emotional support... the general consensus is that your situation sucks and people are offering ideas of how to get passed what you're going through. But ultimately you're the one that's going to decide your own fate. How much your physical state limits you is up to you... as it's only a certain percentage of your problem... the rest is your mental state. You have to believe that you can accomplish things and if you think you can't, figure out why and how you can overcome your situation. That's what separates the successful and the rest of the masses. Fully understand your situation and look at your life from an outside point of view... it may give you some ideas on your next steps.

Good luck!