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Originally Posted by Dfdgd
I graduated, shes in grade 11.
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Grade 11, good luck pal. She's more unstable than kryptonite. She can fall out of love, quicker than you can blink.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dfdgd
Okay, so i started to see this girl, in the end of august, first things started simple, just hanging out, and stuff like that. In October , i asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes , it was really good, i saw her a few times a week. Like i'd see her during her spare at school, or i'd drive her home or things like that. Recently, my car died and i've been seeing her a lot less. I don't think its the fact i don't have a car, its just not very convenient to see each other because of the distance. So lately i feel like i'm putting more into the relationship than she is. Like shes busy with work and school, i understand that but like in her free time, it seems like she rather go out and drink with her friends or go blaze or something like that. We only really chill when i ask her to, and i usually have to like 4 days in advance. I told her i felt i wasn't in her priorities and i wanted things to change, and it seemed like nothing really changed. I see my friends, who have girlfriends, who see them a lot and they cook, watch movies and do everything together, and then i look at my relationship and it almost feels empty compared to theirs. Like yesterday was Christmas and our 2 month anniversary. She was with her family on christmas eve and christmas, and so i told her , let me know when shes free so i can drop off her presents. Instead of letting me know, and seeing me on our anniversary and christmas, she goes out with her guy friends. I already told her , lemme know when your home so i can stop by. But when i asked what time she thinks she'll be home, she was like " i am home, but *name* is coming to pick me up to chill." I don't know, i just got pissed off and i think she rather be with her friends than me and i feel like im putting 90% into it and shes putting 10%. What do you guys think? Any advice is welcomed.
Sorry about the horrible grammer and spelling.
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I'm only here to give advice, whether you take it in or not is up to you as I'm not the one going through the suffering. Like a ref, my duty is to call 'em as I see 'em. Although you have great hopes and expectations that things will be heating back up with your girlfriend, I'm sorry to say, they won't.
I'm here to shake you up and out of your denial and ignorance. You need to realize, dude, that you've been L.J.B.F'd -- Let's Just Be Friends.
Having instant chemistry with a woman is a great thing to experience. But just because the sparks are flying between you and a woman in the early stages of dating, that in itself is no guarantee that the two of you are going to wind up having a solid relationship.
Even adding in great compatibility and intellectual rapport to the equation is not enough to guarantee a successful relationship. You have to know how to emotionally entice her.
"I told her i felt i wasn't in her priorities and i wanted things to change, and it seemed like nothing really changed."
Probably because she doesn't care about you, she has less than 50% interest in you. Woman only care about their interest level. If they don't have high interest level, they couldn't care less about you. Your response to such crisis was confrontation? OP, you NEVER confront a woman. You're suppose to back off, and backing off is nonverbal. Youre supposed to show her by your actions that you mean business. You never sit down and discuss her interest level, in your case: her putting you as a priority. Begging her for attention at that critical point will only make things worse. For instance, make you look needy and insecure aka a wimp.
Confront with humor and don't let 'em know they got to you. This way you'll look like a guy that enjoys life and is positive.
If your relationship looks empty compared to the happy couples walking down on the streets holding hands and smiling, maybe you should start picking up the pieces. You even conclude that you're doing 90% of the work while she pitches in 10%. What more signs do you need? Bright neon flashing lights that say "Wake the hell up!?"
She breaks dates with you to hang out with her friends, flakes last minute. She clearly has no respect for you or your time. She doesn't seem like the loyal type and is showing no integrity. Is this really what you're wanting to chase?
Let me straighten you out on something. This girl is communicating her feelings to you, but you're just not listening. She is communicating loud and clear. She's irritable and you feel a huge distance from her, right? Those are her feelings right there. She doesn't have to verbalize anything. She's not going to come right out and say: "By the way, my interest level in you is only 45% - it's down 50 points since we met." If only dating was this easy, no time would ever be wasted! However, you're looking for completely unnecessary verification dude. This babe is showing you all you need to know by her actions. Read the signs! Forget the verbiage, this girl is practically screaming that she doesn't like you.
Remember, guys: Never try to keep someone who doesn't want to keep you.
* I'm assuming she's one of your earlier girlfriends. Since you've graduated, I'm wildly guessing this because she's only in grade 11. If you tell them you're friends with Jonas Brothers then you're already using the good bait lol. In translation, they're easy -- too easy, the hard part is getting them to leave. Therefore, I foresee that she'll be the one to break your heart then in time you'll bounce back as the heartbreaker.