[trancehead]

Originally Posted by white_guilt

tonight, i spent all this time and effort trying to be with a girl that doesn't like me, when you were there all along. for three weeks we talked about meeting up, only for me to royally fuck it up tonight , by hitting on a girl that i might as well not exist to. now, all I have to show for it is 200 dollars lost in alcohol and alot of wasted time. I should have been with you all along, but I fucked it up, like I always do. All for a girl that doesn't know I exist. You were there waiting all tonight, and for the last three weeks... and I let you down. Every day I tell myself I am more mature than the day before, than I do something like this and fuck everything up, and set myself back 4 years. Am I a teenager again? I can't afford to make these mistakes. Now I am drunk and will sleep in a bed alone by myself when I could be lying next to you. The void she left, will always be, but you could have came close, perhaps. Filled it , even. But man did I fuck up , and I'll be paying for it. Wish you were here, and wish I could talk to you again, but I understand if you never speak to me again. I'm not worth it.

its not over till its over. go ahead and make your grand gesture