[El Bastardo]

At 19 I went through this exact same situation. I wanted to dump my girlfriend. She was completely dependent on me to pay her bills and panicked when I told her she was cut off.

I told her it was over and later that night I got a visit from the police. She said I had shoved her into a wall and had scratched herself up to make it look like she was beat up.

Man, that was the worst night of my life. I was miserable and so ashamed. I thought my life was over. And I had no idea how someone I had done so much for could easily turn on me like that. Its one thing to kick my car door in the night I dumped you, but to call the police after? That hurt, man. That hurt.

I was working as a janitor at the time and could barely get by between my rent and her so I had no savings account to speak of, so a lawyer was out of the question.

I became pathological at working to clear my name. I documented every time she talked to me after that, recorded every phone call, kept every note she left on my windshield. This was before the era of text messaging so I didn't collect those but had I been getting them from her.

I was hoping to establish that she had a manipulative attitude towards me and she was only interested in money, not justice. After a week and a half of her acting crazy and giving me a boatload of legal ammo I took it all to the court, set up an appointment with someone at the court associated with the crown, and brought in an answering machine full of messages saying basically the same thing about her dropping the charges if I pay her rent this month.

About a week later I got a call saying that my charges were stayed, meaning they were going to keep the file open for a year but weren't going to take it to trial. If anything further happened, I'd be in court ASAP but if I kept my nose clean and stayed away from her I'd be aces.

I kept away from that cunt, even quitting the janitor's job and moving in with a buddy so she couldn't get to me. I changed my phone number and took a very passive route in dealing with her, so much as to literally run the other way if I saw her in public. I didn't care if I looked like a bitch while doing it, this is my future and a conviction on my record would fuck me over for life.

Years later when I dealt with other situations in life that required background checks, despite no contact with her and no other legal issues, it still came back to haunt me. There were no convictions, only an arrest, and it still stays on my record.
Even when I hit the border it comes up. The border guards tell me that even if I have my file and fingerprints destroyed, that will stay with me forever.


What happened to you is a very serious thing and can affect your life in ways you haven't even begun to think about. It may be in your best interest to speak with this girl and have her turn her crazy switch off long enough to beg the police to not continue with the charges filed against you. She should talk to the judge, the crown council, anyone one who has a decision-making factor in this case and ask them to stop with these proceedings.

Talk to teachers, your boss, your priest, anybody who can give you a good character testimonial. If you think you're doing too much, think again. This is your future, your life, your societial well-being you're fighting for. Its better to come with too much than too little. If you're convicted you're looking at at least 7 years before you can apply for a pardon, which will costs hundreds of dollars, and even then is has no guarantee of success. If you're convicted forget about day trips to Seattle for shopping, weekend trips to Vegas, or a Fort Lauderdale vacation to stare at the drunk college sluts. Isn't knowing that you're going to miss out on all of this worth making a little extra effort to prevent a conviction for?

And when its all over, drop this toxic bitch. Seriously, if shes capable of this shes capable of burning you in other ways as well. This week its an arrest, next week its sugar in your gas tank, and by the time the summer is over you'll be getting your manhood stitched back on because she logged into your Facebook while you were sleeping and saw that you said "Hi" to a chick you did a Chem 11 study project with.

Please, for the love of fucking god get on this A-S-A-FUCKING-P and handle your business. This is serious, grown-up shit that is absolutely no joke.


PS: Don't plead no contest or take a plea on this one. They say its not as bad as pleading "Guilty" but... seriously... when Mel Gibson pled "No Contest" to those domestic assault charges we all knew what was up. He knew he couldn't win, even with the millions of dollars he can throw into legal defense. He pled no contest because it was better than going not guilty and being convicted.

If you're not guilty, Tequila Bomb, you're not guilty. Make sure everyone knows that