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Okay, I'm not Chinese so I might not have the best insight.
I've never given 2 craps about what "other people" thought. I don't mean to be insulting to the Chinese tradition but if she loves you, then the hell with her parents. I can understand if you will eventually live with her parents but as of right now it's you 2. Nobody else.
I have a friend who is Flip, and dating an Indian girl. Her father doesn't really like him, but settles to make his wife happy (girls mother loves my friend). So his father said "your not allowed to step into my house unless you do this, or don't do that." So he agrees to this until they get married, then when her father wants to come over, he's going to do the same to him and say "well now you got to do this and that to be able ot see your daughter."
It's more of if your really are a strong believer in tradition. The way your going sounds like you've already lost hope, and I would personally say let it go, holding it together will most likely fall apart later down the road.
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