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Originally Posted by TheNewGirl
Okay you've been with your current GF for 11 years?
You're pretty much married. Long term relationships are HARD they require work. And if you expect them to always be effortlessly easy and happy then you're in for a real surprise. It's also not uncommon to long for other people, even when you love the person you're with.
This is normal and it doesn't mean you have to jump ship. In fact I would suspect that your "crush" will fizzle if you leave your GF because it's really just a manifestation of the 'plant my wild oats' part of your brain wanting to be free of the shackles of monogamy.
So... in short if you want to make your relationship work (and you have to want to to make any relationship work) you can. You just have to put some umf into it.
If you don't. Go and jump ship. But realize that you're going to be in the same boat again eventually and you have to, at some point, decide to work hard at a relationship or you'll for ever be thinking the grass is greener else where.
I direct you to Dan Savage who can explain what I think you're going through right now.
‪Dan Savage: Why Monogamy Is Ridiculous‬‏ - YouTube |
I agree, it's easy to get complacent in a long term relationship. It's never going to feel like it does for that first 6 months, year and 2 year period. The sparks go out a little bit but you have to work at it to keep going.
I've been with my wife for 15 years, it's not the same as it was when we first started going out. Thats not to say there are never sparks they just aren't there all the time like they were when we first started going out. Overtime your partner becomes your best friend, your confidant. It's up to both partners to keep working at it to keep that sexual chemistry and spark there.
The fantasy of cheating is always there but I'd never pull the trigger as I couldn't imagine the consequences of being without my wife. If you aren't happy you aren't happy but maybe you're not working at it hard enough?
11 years is a lot of time to put behind you but do it because you want to move on not because you have a crush on someone else. Like TheNewgirl said, the grass is also not always greener on the otherside. For all my wifes flaws she has so many great things that I don't think I'd be able to find anywhere else. You have to weigh the pros and cons.