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Tearing is normal, at least for poodles. My Daschund used to tear when we've just got him but it stop a month later. We don't know what's the cause, it's probably because we changed his food.
Yea, definitely don't want to spoil him too much or he'll become a head case later on. Set a boundary. If he do something that you don't agree with, discipline him. You shouldn't let him sit on top off you, the same as you shouldn't let him jumping on the sofa, not when you've just gotten him at least. He should only sit on your lap when you invite him in.
Don't forget to reward him with petting/treat when he does something right.
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