Originally Posted by dinosaur
Just do it.
My story:
I will try to keep this story as short as possible...
Me: Dating a guy for 9 years. Relationship kinda sucked, but you get into that mode of "it is what it is". After 9 years, the thought of dividing everything and possibly shattering another persons life is overwhelming and hard to do. We had bought a house, cars, pets, shared bank accounts, etc. Also, you just think that after 9 years, this is what a "normal" relationship is...boring, sex is shitty, you live more as roommates, work, pay the bills, make the dinner, watch Survivor, repeat.
The guy I was with had a sister who had started dating this guy about a year into my 9 year relationship with my ex. He was funny, sarcastic, good-looking, and we got along GREAT! I looked forward to "family" dinners b/c he and I would sit on one side of the table and laugh, share inside jokes, and talk for hours. We added each other to MSN, would talk there, gossip about the family....myself, my ex, his sister and her bf would get together every so often and it always turned out that me and her bf would be the ones talking and making the night fun. We bonded over the fact that we were "the add-ons" to the family and I truly appreciated his friendship b/c he was always one of those people that gave it to you "straight-up".
We began hanging out or going for coffee once or twice a year without our SO and would always bitch (nicely) about our relationships and give each other advice. After 6 years he and my ex's sister broke up, but he and I still stayed friends.
There was always something "there". The odd time we would joke "yeah, you want me" and the other would respond "you fucking wish", yeah whatever...move on to something else. Neither of us would act on it, as I would never cheat and he would never make a move out of respect of that.
My 9 year relationship came to a crashing halt with my ex 3 weeks after he proposed b/c he cheated on me. Funny enough, I wasn't all that upset. It sucked, I felt betrayed but mostly b/c of the lie...not the actual deed. It was bittersweet b/c I was not all that happy to begin with but was now left divided that life up b/w us.
I sent a text to the sis's ex to tell him what happened, b/c out of everyone I knew, he knew my ex and his family the most. He was rather shocked and we made plans to get together so I could tell him the whole story. That night I went to his place where we ordered chinese and I told him everything...we laughed at the absurdity of it all, talked about random shit, and had a lot of fun. Towards the end of the night, we were standing in his kitchen when he said "I've kinda got something to tell you". I said "what?". He said, "I've kinda had a lot of feelings for you for the past 6 years". It would be a lie to say it totally caught me off-guard, but it was still a little shocking to finally hear it. I confessed that I had always thought about the potential of us and was disappointed when my ex proposed, as I would never get to see what would happen.
And by the romantic light of his bathroom, he kissed me. It was one of the best things that has ever happened in my life. From there it is history...still going strong after almost 3.5 years.
We always talk about how we wish we told each other sooner instead of wasting all this time with our exes. How would it have turned out if we told each other 5 years ago?
My advice it to tell her. Some friends come and go throughout your life...but you could end up really missing out on love.
And that is about as corny as I ever want to be on RS.
Heart ya Grid!
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