[TheWeekEnd]

Thanks everyone for their inputs, much appreciated,

Originally Posted by Gridlock

I was reading along, and was reminded of my ex with the plain jane thing, not liking your friends and not having friends of her own.

I was with her for 6 years before I bailed, and dude, I never looked back.

Here's the deal: You are dating a big dah dud. That's not the end of the world, and I see a lot of people dating their big dah duds and it seems to work for them. But, in your case, you are screwed. Why? Because she doesn't like your friends, doesn't trust you with them and doesn't have friends of her own. So, for your relationship to work, you need to give up(or spend less time with) your friends and crawl into her big dah dud lifestyle.

She's obviously not cool with sitting at home while you are out partying hard, because who would? Somewhere in her head, she's annoyed that her boyfriend spends no time with her. So, on some level she gets pissed off, and it comes out in "I don't trust you". In this game, the answer is 'supposed' to be, "I'll party less with my friends, and sit here with you-oh! is that the sequel to Bridget jones' Diary on AMC?" But of course, this system isn't working for her. You aren't responding to the trust issues with concessions as you are supposed to, you are amping it up by hiding the BBM messages. Sounds to me like your own little subconcious game-ie, she thinks you are messing around, which I believe that you are not, so you purposefully hide these messages, leading to her thinking you are messing around even more.

For me, and my situation, it started to create a lot of animosity in the relationship at the fact that I always had to make sure that she was ok. I remember at one work xmas party, that people tried to talk to her and got short little one word answers and they are like, "oook...I...have to...be elsewhere". It happened all the time. Looking back, I spent 6 years trying to interpret which sneer I was currently receiving and what it meant that I had done wrong.

Finally, I woke up one morning and said I'm done. Nothing had happened. No fight-no talks and surprisingly, no sneer. I got in my car and drove for 4 hours. By the time I had spent a month in Thailand, and a couple weeks at out apartment, and then a couple at my moms, I was into the whole break-up scene for about 2.5 months. That 4 hour drive was in late July and I finally moved into my own place on Oct.1. Don't do it that way. If you are done, say you are done and decide who is packing. It's like a band-aid man, get a good grip, and pull! One of you needs to get out of there. Do you own or rent the condo?

Your ex sounds alot like my gf and all the one word answer as parties and functions, however the thing is! She tells me to go out. If i pass on a whole weekend and stay in and hang out, her response by the end of the next weekend, "you should go out" or "Why arent you out with your friends". Im sure there are weekends she rather hang out, but i she just dosent say nothing. For the most part alot of the times she gets annoyed she dosent speak up but looks pissed or aggravated. I ask whats wrong, the answer for the past few years for all was "Im tired...". Unless it was something obvious like I said something stupid or if i did a certain thing with my friends that uncluded other girls outside our circle of friends. She would know cause i would tell her. I tell her everything everytime when i go out, so she knows how it was from A-Z.

I always wake up, thinking im done ! and want to get out. But i also have invested so much money into this relationship. I bought her a car(not a cheap one either), we bought the condo together. So i dont even know what to do. I wanna fix it, but i know its not gonna go no where. I even thought about going on a trip and see if we can solve anything.