OKAY! Here is my take...I read the OP and skimmed the others so I apologize if this is redundant.
Scenario I
You meet this chick...she is cool. You like her as a friend and
ONLY a friend. Nothing wrong with that...sometimes we meet people in life of the opposite sex, and even though they are totes cool and hold all the qualities you life, you do not, will not, and could not go any further for no specific reason other than you don't care to. These people will always be friends (side-note: Grid's best friend is a chick....I love her to bits! I am not jealous and encourage his friendship with her.)
You have known said-chick for just about 1 year....and no insult to you, it has ONLY been a year. In our early to mid 20s (especially in Uni) we all meet people. Some people are "guest stars", some are "series regulars", and some are "extras". Series regulars are the friends you have had since childhood, family friends, and even family members....think Robin, Ted, Lilly, Barney, Marshall (HIMYM). The guest stars are like Kal Penn (on HIMYM)...we all love him, he fits well with the cast....its kinda like he has always been there. He adds something to the show and we could never imagine the show without him. BUT, we all know it is coming to end. It will suck, for a few episodes we will miss him...he may be references here and there, but by next season, we will have totally forgot about him. Extras are pretty self explanatory (dude you sit next to in your polisci class, share a couple laughs...move on when semester ends).
You my friend are "best friends" with a "guest star" and her role in your life is slowly coming to an end. Yes, she has the potential of staying life-long...but they all do. We would have loved to see Brad Pitt as a regular on Friends, but it just doesn't happen. You love them, they add something to your life, help you get through something, share a hilarious inside joke, etc....but her time is done.
She is distracted with her new bf (understandably) and is starting a new phase of her life. Though she really liked you are a friends, she just doesn't have the time...or necessarily the want (not offense) to jeopardize a potential love for a friend she has only had for 1 year. You would not expect Brad Pitt to quit movies for a 30-min a week episode on Friends (would have been epic...not would not happen).
My advice in this scenario is to wish her luck...remember the fun times you had....focus on your series regulars. If you run into her on campus...smile, say hi, friendly chit chat, and do that whole "we should get together for coffee sometime" bull-shit that never happens, but let her know you are cool with her. In our 20s we have several "guest stars" that we all love, but never really see again. It is apart of growing up.
Scenario II
No matter how many times you say it out loud to your friends, family, RS, and your reflection in the mirror....you have romantic feelings for her. This whole "I don't want to ruin our friendship" argument is bull-shit and proves that you have entertained the though. The best relationships (IMO) bloom out of great friendships.
If this is the case, it may explain why you are so torn up about her exiting your life. This isn't a bad thing or something to be ashamed of. As a defense for her going out with another guy, you act all like you have an "i dont like her like that" attitude, I just wanted to be her friend. I dig it. We have all been there.
If this is, in fact, the case...the only way you can move on - with or without her, is to tell her. I'm not talking about hunting the chick down and cornering her or standing outside her window with a boom-box over your head while she wakes up in the morning (the older RSers will get that), but I mean like and email...or fb message. Stupid, I know...but you gotta get it out to move on. Explain your feelings rationally...DO NOT ask her to leave her bf for you....just lay it all out. EX: "I have been a little off lately and have been doing a lot of think. I really appreciated our friendship and I miss seeing you often....I understand you are currently in a relationship....but here are my feeling....dont need to respond, just needed to stay it....blah blah blah....I wish you luck....look me up one day....blah blah", etc, etc, etc.
You may not get a response...ever. But at least it is out there. Regardless, you need to give her a week to respond...and then try and forget about her. Should you run into her on campus...refer to
Scenario I advice.
You are fairly young...there will be similar situations in your future. Good luck, and keep us updated.
Also....RAWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRR!
