Quote:
Originally Posted by 46_valentinor
to be honest, i tried to think of what i did wrong that would have caused everyone around me to do this, but i just can't think of anything. im more or the quiet type and a follower instead of a leader in the group. what i lack in entertainment due to being quiet, i try to make it up by being a more generous and caring person. when i know something happened to any of my friends i always tried to be there for them no matter what. the person who i had an argument on the other hand, has a completely opposite personality then me, he is talkative and is seen as the alfa in our group. i guess to the group, it was a easy decision to take the fun, alfa bro and exclude the quiet guy.
by the way, a related [B]example[B] would be who is the better starcraft player...the nature of this subject was already very non-serious from the start. i don't see how it could have done such extraordinary damage that would result from this.
i guess the reason why it hurts so much is because i tried to be too caring and generous and i hoped that it would be what i would get in return.
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I'm in my 30's and I can tell you something even more unpleasant. This lesson that you just learned, has applications far beyond just socialization. This CAN (and I have seen it) be true in professional circles as well.
You're what? 21? You're learning that life isn't fair. You're also learning that just because you do the right things in your books, doesn't always mean that "life" will reciprocate back the niceties to you.
You're also learning that in an argument, despite you being correct, sometimes the correct thing to do is let the other party win. (again, this is good advice in a workplace/career). You're learning that a small win of a verbal argument, one's pride, or ego can come at an even greater cost; maybe one that you would rather not lose even at the cost of a little pride or ego.
To be honest, be glad that you're learning this lesson (about learning your place) in this context rather than in a professional one. I've had colleagues jeopardize their career because they don't know how to take shit.
Not that this helps your specific situation, but who knows... maybe there's an opportunity for a bigger or "general" life lesson that one can take out of this. Again, I'm sorry it had to happen to you, but it's really not a life lesson unless it hurts.