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Ri2 · 03-22-2012, 03:10 AM

I've been having this happen to me since I was 13/14 years old. I'm 22 years old right now and it still happens. That's life man. Friends come and go, it's up to you to decide who's real and who's not. You can't go around victimizing yourself because it makes the process only harder.

The way I see it, there are two categories of friends.

1. Good Time (GT) Friends; the ones that you call when you want to go get blitzed out of your mind, hit up the club, pick up girls/guys and generally when you need a stress release by doing something lighthearted and fun. These friends do not handle serious situations well, it's hard to open up to them when shit gets real in your life.

2. Real Friends; these are the friends that have seen you when you are down and out. they're not afraid to tell you the truth and to point out if you act a fool. shit gets real and they're there, no questions asked. they make you feel safe and never self conscious. these kinds of friends are a few and far between.

Personally, I would rather have a couple real friends than a handful of good time friends. From experience, real friends will never cut you out like that without warning. They talk to you when there's an issue and you resolve it together, even if it means you decide to just spend some time apart and take a breather. I know it hurts to lose friends, and believe me, I KNOW. I've spent months and months crying over friends that I have cared about that had done me wrong. I'm always the one who reaches out and gets shot down, but truthfully, I would prefer it that way. Now I never have to wonder "hey what if I had tried to ask whats up..maybe it would be different.." People change, make mistakes, act like assholes all the time...it doesn't mean that you have to.

Recognize that you can't control the way other people act and be okay with that fact. Reflect on areas that you could improve (maybe in your case, being more assertive) and BE those changes. Trust that you're a good enough person to make new friends and have better experiences. Don't judge these people for how they acted, everyone in life is just trying to find themselves/doing the best they can. Instead, wish them love & light and move on. Be thankful for the times you all spent together and harbor no bitterness. If you hold grudges and are bitter, it will carry on in all aspects of any other relationship you may try to have. Focus on things that make you happy and how to better yourself, you will attract likewise people. Learn how to differentiate GT friends from real friends and you'll be okay. Never stop being caring and generous because you don't want new, real friends to pay for the old ones' mistakes.

Change your mindset from negative to positive and your emotions/reactions to situations will follow. Sometimes you have to lose some of that dead weight in your life to make space for better things to come.

03-22-2012, 03:10 AM	#10
Ri2 Willing to stick a finger in a guys butt for the sake of science Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: The Hood Posts: 357 Thanked 253 Times in 103 Posts Failed 4 Times in 4 Posts	I've been having this happen to me since I was 13/14 years old. I'm 22 years old right now and it still happens. That's life man. Friends come and go, it's up to you to decide who's real and who's not. You can't go around victimizing yourself because it makes the process only harder. The way I see it, there are two categories of friends. 1. Good Time (GT) Friends; the ones that you call when you want to go get blitzed out of your mind, hit up the club, pick up girls/guys and generally when you need a stress release by doing something lighthearted and fun. These friends do not handle serious situations well, it's hard to open up to them when shit gets real in your life. 2. Real Friends; these are the friends that have seen you when you are down and out. they're not afraid to tell you the truth and to point out if you act a fool. shit gets real and they're there, no questions asked. they make you feel safe and never self conscious. these kinds of friends are a few and far between. Personally, I would rather have a couple real friends than a handful of good time friends. From experience, real friends will never cut you out like that without warning. They talk to you when there's an issue and you resolve it together, even if it means you decide to just spend some time apart and take a breather. I know it hurts to lose friends, and believe me, I KNOW. I've spent months and months crying over friends that I have cared about that had done me wrong. I'm always the one who reaches out and gets shot down, but truthfully, I would prefer it that way. Now I never have to wonder "hey what if I had tried to ask whats up..maybe it would be different.." People change, make mistakes, act like assholes all the time...it doesn't mean that you have to. Recognize that you can't control the way other people act and be okay with that fact. Reflect on areas that you could improve (maybe in your case, being more assertive) and BE those changes. Trust that you're a good enough person to make new friends and have better experiences. Don't judge these people for how they acted, everyone in life is just trying to find themselves/doing the best they can. Instead, wish them love & light and move on. Be thankful for the times you all spent together and harbor no bitterness. If you hold grudges and are bitter, it will carry on in all aspects of any other relationship you may try to have. Focus on things that make you happy and how to better yourself, you will attract likewise people. Learn how to differentiate GT friends from real friends and you'll be okay. Never stop being caring and generous because you don't want new, real friends to pay for the old ones' mistakes. Change your mindset from negative to positive and your emotions/reactions to situations will follow. Sometimes you have to lose some of that dead weight in your life to make space for better things to come.