Quote:
Originally Posted by 46_valentinor
i used to have absolutely no problem with apologizing, however i may sound like an asshole in the making but after this situation, i don't think i will apologize for stuff that i know i didn't do wrong. the other party can believe they are right, i won't argue about it because its not worth it. i was too easily apologetic in the past, placed everyone else first and myself second. in my head, what mattered the most was the people around me, but i think that has given me an extremely weak, unworthy image.
after this incident, i had to learn how to live independently and pick out the weak point of my life and personality. i have to stand up for myself like what a guy is suppose to do. like i previously said, this incident still hurts and makes me feel miserable at times but i don't feel sorry about it because well......i shouldn't feel sorry about it in the first place and this also made me improve on myself.
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Haha, you say that now but wait until you get married. All jokes aside, this probably something you're going to have to learn anyways as well. Again, this has more applications than just social ie.
1. Marriage: Some arguments aren't worth losing the marriage over; especially if the matter is trivial and you're arguing purely for pride and ego's sake.
2. Work: You may think your boss is wrong, or maybe you just think your idea is just better. It doesn't matter. Right or wrong, at the end of the day, your superiors are always right (even if they're not).
4. Customer Service: (I learned this in insurance) It doesn't matter who fucked up, clients will ALWAYS try to pass the blame on you; as a professional, you have to learn to swallow your pride and be non-confrontational; even at the cost of an apology even if you weren't in the wrong. This is especially true if all it takes to save a "big-time portfolio/client" is a small 5-letter word.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma
lol it's really hard to help you without knowing the details.
how you could approach the situation or your friends without apologizing or perhaps making them see it from your view. just gotta be chill out about it.
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I agree, and to be honest, apologizing isn't as undignifying as people seem to think it is.
To the OP:
Firstly, apologizing isn't a sign of inferiority. It's also a sign that despite how strongly you feel about your POV, you have and/or are ready to understand, listen, taken into account and at least give some credit to your opposing POV. The point is, you've listened and you've understood.
This momentary surrender means you've just opened the door to a conversation; a conversation that's
inquisitive in nature (finding/discussing more and learning each other's POV) rather than
a combative nature (arguing whose POV is better than the other [right vs wrong]).
At the end of the converstation, nobody has to be right, nobody has to be wrong. Everybody just has to "get" what the other person is saying, and "get" why they think how they think.
This learning of each other can yield many things. It can patch a broken friendship together, and the fact that you know a little bit more about each other (how they think, where they come from, etc) can mean that you become even closer and stronger as friends, as now you know them far more intimately than you did before.
Secondly, an apology doesn't mean you're wrong. Apologizing to someone you've just had a confrontation can also mean:
1. You're sorry that things are unpleasant at the moment
2. You're sorry that there was a miscommunication, maybe you hadn't explained your end as good as you thought it was; or maybe you hadn't understood the other as good as you thought you did.
3. Or maybe you're just sorry that you just lost someone's friendship.
The point is, saying sorry isn't as simple as: letting the other party win.
TBH, I love that you brought this topic up and started a thread. It's really funny how complex people make a simple 5-letter word ("sorry") to be when really, I just want to say it's not at all.
Coles Notes:
1. Sorry doesn't mean you're wrong
2. Saying sorry isn't undignifying
3. Sorry can open doors you've just closed or others have closed for you.