Quote:
Originally Posted by El Bastardo
The following is a reply from the anonymous member
I noticed everyone is telling me to move on and just let it go.. my OP may have given the idea that she is a horrible person or something.. but in my perspective she is that girl.. the one you will regret for life if you ever let her go... (before our break up, my friends/family would always say how we looked good together, how our personalities matched, and shes a keeper)...
To be honest, I don't want to just throw it all away with out giving a fight... I feel like I haven't done enough or anything at all to try keep us together... atm all I really want to do is at least try to do something... I know its probably 99% going to fail but I know I would rather fail trying then not trying at all...
I know it takes 2 people to make a relationship.. but if one person is rocky or cant pull things together.. isnt the other person suppose to support/try to work it out for them? (Take 2 people to work, but sometimes one person needs to be stronger to make things work right?) ... Am I crazy for thinking/feeling like this...
Also thanks for all the advice/response's.. really appreciate it.
|
^^This^^ is the problem you are working on right now.
You post, and in your mind, people don't get it so you come back and say "guysss, you aren't getting it man, she is WORTH the chase"
There can be a case for fighting for it and not letting go. In my mind, that's usually a break-up at the end of, or during a period where someone has been inattentive, or stressed or just not there. Could also be when you go through a life change, and start to re-examine everything.
Then there is "dude its over", and I don't know why man, but this is "dude, its over". I just have that feeling. Call it experience. Call it, I've broken up with more people than have broken up with me.
I think its the way that you are convinced that there is something you can do to change her mind. That if you can just do more to please her, then it will work.
I remember once, a life changing moment in relationships. I had, as mentioned, broken up with a girlfriend of 6 years. I'm kind of getting back in the groove of things and re-notice a girl at work. I had seen her many times before, but never really talked to her. Anyway, she's by my desk, and we're talking casually and someone else is there and then she goes. It hits me.
Baby. I AM FREE.
So, I go outside and ask her out. She says yes. I smile to myself. Here is a girl that is the exact mofo opposite of the ex. Alright..shit's coming together.
OMFG. This chick was nuts. And I bought in. Lapped that shit up. I started later than she did, so, it was convenient(for her) for me to bring her a coffee when I came in in the morning. Some stupid half-caf, low whip lightly salted, braised caramel turkey motherfucking thing. We go out a few times and then one day she's laying there and says that she feels I don't respect her enough.
And that awesome to hear. Word for word, this is what she says, "I should be up here(motions up high) and then everything else(as her hand cascades down the pedestal) then you. I want a guy that when its raining out, he throws his jacket in the puddle to save my feet. Opens every door all this stuff.
Oh, I wasn't into sports. Couldn't do much about that for her.
My favorite! I picked her up one night and it was snowing. I said, hey, do you mind driving, my car sucks in the snow. Like really bad. Unsafe. Die in a fire bad.
"Can't do it"
Ok, then can we drive your car?
"Can't do it. I don't let anyone drive my car"
So, off we go at 10kms per hour slip sliding all over the road there and back. It's fine.
Anyway, this went on for awhile, and I just felt like I was never there. Never good enough. If I hit one bar, then there would be another challenge to work on.
Turns out, she was dating another guy the whole time. She went away for work, rumors went around that she got engaged, people asked me about it, I said no.
I was wrong.
The challenges were her comparing me to this other guy. As if I was being measured up to someone else. Because I was. Who is more worthy?
My point here is...its a futile effort. You can't convince someone that you are the right man for the job.
Take away what you want, but I would think LONG AND HARD before you picked up that phone saying, "baby, I'm ready to work on this".
Sidebar:
The summation to my story. K, so she was a bitch, right? When I quit, she came to me on my last day and we were talking. I asked her point blank and she said that yes, she was seeing this guy the whole time. That's why a few times that I thought were "assumed date instances" such as, I don't know, new fucking years I was left out. He was there.
So, as I basically say "have a nice life" I stop, and say:
You know, I kind of have to thank you. I started opening car doors for girls when we go out, and its really been eye-opening to see the results when I <<dinosaur censor>> the shit out of them. What I really like to do is make them feel like they are up here, then there is 50 feet of crap, and then me down here.
You were educational.
Oh, and I year after I quit, she was fired. Guess someone came to the same conclusion I did, that she was talking out of her ass.