REVscene Automotive Forum - View Single Post - The most messed up dating sitaution I've ever seen

dinosaur · 05-07-2012, 09:59 AM

Okay...So you say that you are into her. What is it about her that you like? Is she pretty? Funny? Intelligent? Ass looks great in yoga pants?

Do you find yourself wanting to kiss her? Hold her hand? Be affectionate in other ways?

This is just my perspective, but I think that you are trying to play a little hard to get. You are trying to push her into the friendzone to try and get her to make a move out of it. Maybe you are afraid of putting it all out there and not having her reciprocate?

Yes, this girl clearly has some issues. Was in a long-term relationship, then single/getting over it for 3 years. This means that she got into this relationship fairly young. She may not know what it is like to "date" an adult. She is waiting for you to make the moves b/c she doesn't know any different. This isn't her fault...or maybe even her excuse for acting this way, but it is reality. I was in a 9 year relationship from 19-28. When that ended, the first thing I thought was, "I don't even know how to fucking date". It weird...you miss all that time in your 20s to learn how to date adults. Who knows, she may be talking about work b/c that is the only thing she feels comfortable talking about....this chick got out of a long-term relationship where EVERYTHING was comfortable. She may not get it...

Is this YOUR problem? no. But, if you have fairly strong feelings for her, as you say you do, it is the price you pay for dating in your 30s. We all have baggage and this is hers. If you back-off and play the "friendzone" game to push her to make a move, this potential relationship will not progress. I'm not saying this is you being mean or consciously playing a game, but you are trying to turn her into the pursuer...and she may not be that type.

My advice: Take her on her next date. Treat is like a date (not dinner & movie or hangout at the park. I'm talking dinner at a nice restaurant...walk on the beach. No distractions). Pick her up, bring her flowers (not roses). Talk about movies, music, pets, friends, family, travelling, school, etc....hell, talk about the weather. Keep it light. Hold doors open for her, hold her hand, drop her off, kiss her good night, and text her when you get home saying that you had a great time on the date and can't wait to do it again.

Instead of directing it towards the friendzone to protect yourself from getting hurt or to push her to be the aggressor, take control. IF you are not comfortable with being the controller (not in a negative way) in the relationship, even if it is just in the beginning, she may not be the one for you.

She "needs more time" b/c she doesn't know what the relationship is...friendzone?dating?bf/gf? She has never been in adult relationship and I don't think she gets it.

If you take my advice and go on a proper date for your next date and it still isn't flying...I think it may be time to move on, unfortunately.

05-07-2012, 09:59 AM	#4
dinosaur Banned By Establishment Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: bedroom Posts: 3,112 Thanked 3,492 Times in 1,176 Posts Failed 441 Times in 145 Posts	Okay...So you say that you are into her. What is it about her that you like? Is she pretty? Funny? Intelligent? Ass looks great in yoga pants? Do you find yourself wanting to kiss her? Hold her hand? Be affectionate in other ways? This is just my perspective, but I think that you are trying to play a little hard to get. You are trying to push her into the friendzone to try and get her to make a move out of it. Maybe you are afraid of putting it all out there and not having her reciprocate? Yes, this girl clearly has some issues. Was in a long-term relationship, then single/getting over it for 3 years. This means that she got into this relationship fairly young. She may not know what it is like to "date" an adult. She is waiting for you to make the moves b/c she doesn't know any different. This isn't her fault...or maybe even her excuse for acting this way, but it is reality. I was in a 9 year relationship from 19-28. When that ended, the first thing I thought was, "I don't even know how to fucking date". It weird...you miss all that time in your 20s to learn how to date adults. Who knows, she may be talking about work b/c that is the only thing she feels comfortable talking about....this chick got out of a long-term relationship where EVERYTHING was comfortable. She may not get it... Is this YOUR problem? no. But, if you have fairly strong feelings for her, as you say you do, it is the price you pay for dating in your 30s. We all have baggage and this is hers. If you back-off and play the "friendzone" game to push her to make a move, this potential relationship will not progress. I'm not saying this is you being mean or consciously playing a game, but you are trying to turn her into the pursuer...and she may not be that type. My advice: Take her on her next date. Treat is like a date (not dinner & movie or hangout at the park. I'm talking dinner at a nice restaurant...walk on the beach. No distractions). Pick her up, bring her flowers (not roses). Talk about movies, music, pets, friends, family, travelling, school, etc....hell, talk about the weather. Keep it light. Hold doors open for her, hold her hand, drop her off, kiss her good night, and text her when you get home saying that you had a great time on the date and can't wait to do it again. Instead of directing it towards the friendzone to protect yourself from getting hurt or to push her to be the aggressor, take control. IF you are not comfortable with being the controller (not in a negative way) in the relationship, even if it is just in the beginning, she may not be the one for you. She "needs more time" b/c she doesn't know what the relationship is...friendzone?dating?bf/gf? She has never been in adult relationship and I don't think she gets it. If you take my advice and go on a proper date for your next date and it still isn't flying...I think it may be time to move on, unfortunately.