success! thanks for the help! im not sure if honda still offers the relay for EG civic but this could be such an easy way to save a couple bucks. all you need is male and female spade connectors (the ones i used where
these but uninsulated) and i used some 16 gauge wire.
the part number is: 39794-S0K-A01
as for installation thanks to the help i got here as well as some reading i did all you have to do is extend and label the prongs using the wires then follow the diagram on the back of the relay. only difference is the 30 goes on the top left and the 87 bottom left. it should make sense when you go to do it.lol.