REVscene Automotive Forum - View Single Post - Quarter-life crisis

Ri2 · 05-08-2012, 09:06 PM

I'm in my early 20's. My friends range from a few years younger to many years older. I'm used to hanging around an older crowd, that being said, I have seen many of my friends go through this. A lot of them were in long term relationships (6+ years and some were engaged). It was highly unfortunate that for some of them, it affected their relationships in ways that caused breaking off engagements and losing people that they've had in their life for so many years.

I have a certain viewpoint on this. I noticed that my friends that this happened to were stuck in a routine. Their job, everyday schedule, even relationships had routine to them. They were comfortable and thought "this is my life." They make good money, they have good education and own their own places. They have decent cars that get them from A to B and can afford insurance and maintenance and still live quite comfortably. They always felt that something was missing, but could never pinpoint what exactly it was. Also something that they have in common, they have passions for things that they didn't pursue due to financial influences. Usually these are artistic things, a majority of my friends are highly visual individuals (art, drawing, designing, etc.) or even something like travelling. I think it's because we live in a society where money rules everything. The mentality is that if you're at a job that you love but is financially difficult for you, you're urged by others (verbally or nonverbally) that you should pursue another job where financial stability is more realistic. When we were young, we had dreams like being a doctor, astronaut, painter or writer. We tend to forget these dreams if they are not within our realistic financial spectrum.

My sister, for example, is amazing with visual projects, like she puts in work hard and it turns out incredibly well. She couldn't afford to go to college because she got married to my bro when she was 23. In our culture anyway, if you're a female and not a nurse, you ain't doin shit with your life. She started at her last job as a data entry clerk and because of her ability, she kept pitching ideas to her manager until she was able to create her own position with the company doing what she loves. Even doing this, she was feeling unfulfilled, but the job paid the bills. My brother does what he loves, working 2 jobs to pay the bills but it's something he's passionate about for the time being. She ended up going to a women's seminar in LA for 3 days and it literally changed her life. She gathered up the courage to quit her job and saved just enough money to give herself time to really explore her passions. Now she's involved with 2 AMAZING women's organizations that came at exactly the right time for her. We believe that it has to do with her choices, she opened up her mind and thus, her world to a place of opportunities and success and attracted that energy towards her and received it. If she was still stuck with her previous company, she says that she would still be at square 1, lacking purpose and drive in her life. Her and my brothers marriage has been the best that it has because they constantly support one another to pursue what they want.

People chase money and mistake it for a form of happiness. But then, they get so caught up in the chase, that they forget what living is really about. They do a job because it serves them well financially but their fire/passion/spark dims with each year...until eventually it just burns out. Our beliefs form our reality, especially about money. If we view it as an obstacle for our happiness then it becomes a roadblock that over the years with the expenses of daily living grows and grows until it creates a shadow on your life. That being said, if you believe that money is what's stopping you from being happy, NO amount of money will ever make you feel content because that will be the limitation that you have created for yourself. In other words, you'll always be chasing that unicorn, hoping for a better picture to show off to your friends, if that makes any sense.

I find that our quarter life crisis or even mid life crisis. is a way of your body finally releasing the negative reactions that your (at the time) seemingly well decisions have induced. Your body, mind, spirit/soul, is reminding you "hey buddy, there's a whole world out there, why aren't you out experiencing it?" They are turning points of your life, meant to be chances to reevaluate your situation and become aware of areas for personal development. Your life is meant to be one of constant creation and change. We all have our individual talents and strengths for a reason. We shouldn't feel shame towards are weaknesses' and instead feel grateful for the opportunity to hone our skills and create more strengths for ourselves. We're faced with so many negative messages (daily news being the #1 offender) that we don't notice that our mindset is changed and influenced everyday. If you REALLY listen to the thoughts that run through your head everyday, what's the ratio of positive to negative thoughts? Is there at least one thing in your life that happens everyday that you are GENUINELY happy about?

Meditation is based on the notion that "thinking" is a manifestation of our Ego. Our Ego is the false self. It's the part that wants and desires and finds shit to bitch about on the daily. It's similar to how a dog loves a chew toy, just wants something to work on. Our mind is meant to be a tool, used when needed then put down for periods of relaxation. It really is an art nowadays to just revel in "Being". I have periods of this, after some meditation, that no matter how shitty my life gets, I'm just in a state of bliss. I'm happy simply because I am and have no external influences (created by our Ego and therefore are false anyway). Even using words like TRY and ATTEMPT have negative connotations that people are often unaware about. These words give the opportunity for failure, failure is associated with feelings of negativity and falling behind. Be aware about how often you might say the word "try" or even "I just don't have the time", now replace it with positive phrases like "I am" and "I have time/I will make time".

Some books I would suggest:
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
The Nature of Personal Reality by Jane Roberts
The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsh

Personally, I love writing. It's been my biggest passion of all time, besides wanting to become a doctor. I started reading medical textbooks at a really young age. I don't have the funds to go to med school and I fucked around a lot in high school. My parents live paycheck to paycheck but somehow our family is still happy. It's hard because growing up I never had a lot of things that most people were lucky to have and I started having to work really early. I never give up on my dream of someday become a doctor and becoming an author on the side. Recently withdrew from school due to depression/anxiety, and got some help. Now I have job opportunities coming up for me in my field, in the meantime to make money for tuition to finish my nursing program. My choice to be a nurse has been my own, I've fought with my WHOLE family about this. I'm the type of person that if you're in my ear harping on about what's best for me, I can't actually figure out what's best for me. I like to learn on my own and it's usually the hard way. I am grateful for my familys' continued support, especially when I was going through a rough period, trying to assert myself as an adult and intellectual individual. My long term goal is to keep upgrading and with help from my regulatory bodies, get financial help to enter med school. My choice to become a doctor has entirely been made on the fact that I love people and I love helping people. When I was going to school, I had one of the highest GPA's in my class, simply because it was something I was truly passionate about. I'm meeting one of my favorite authors on Thursday who just happens to be a doctor/clinical professor at UBC and a writer on the side. I'm looking more into getting a lot of my written pieces published and to get involved with spiritual growth and personal development groups, hopefully as a writer. I'm putting myself out there and I've been blessed with more and more opportunities. I made the choice to acknowledge my feelings of dissatisfaction with my life(however shameful it is to admit that you have a problem and need help) and instead of waiting to "GET LUCKY", I started searching out and creating my own opportunities. I visualize success in my future on the daily and therefore, rid myself of any doubt that will hold me back. I do what it takes because I make my own luck.

If you go on meetup.com, there are multiple groups that specialize in certain interests. There are groups for physical activity, personal development and growth and appreciation for the arts. You need to surround yourself with positive, like minded people who are willing to do what it takes to succeed in their passions and thus, flourish in life. Use the resources that we are so lucky to have, internet, library, networking, etc. to BE that person that you've always wanted to be. Stop trying, start being. Discover what you really love and you WILL be successful. Same as PJ, if anyone wants to collaborate ideas on books, energy, meditation or anything, feel free to PM me

05-08-2012, 09:06 PM	#68
Ri2 Willing to stick a finger in a guys butt for the sake of science Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: The Hood Posts: 357 Thanked 253 Times in 103 Posts Failed 4 Times in 4 Posts	I'm in my early 20's. My friends range from a few years younger to many years older. I'm used to hanging around an older crowd, that being said, I have seen many of my friends go through this. A lot of them were in long term relationships (6+ years and some were engaged). It was highly unfortunate that for some of them, it affected their relationships in ways that caused breaking off engagements and losing people that they've had in their life for so many years. I have a certain viewpoint on this. I noticed that my friends that this happened to were stuck in a routine. Their job, everyday schedule, even relationships had routine to them. They were comfortable and thought "this is my life." They make good money, they have good education and own their own places. They have decent cars that get them from A to B and can afford insurance and maintenance and still live quite comfortably. They always felt that something was missing, but could never pinpoint what exactly it was. Also something that they have in common, they have passions for things that they didn't pursue due to financial influences. Usually these are artistic things, a majority of my friends are highly visual individuals (art, drawing, designing, etc.) or even something like travelling. I think it's because we live in a society where money rules everything. The mentality is that if you're at a job that you love but is financially difficult for you, you're urged by others (verbally or nonverbally) that you should pursue another job where financial stability is more realistic. When we were young, we had dreams like being a doctor, astronaut, painter or writer. We tend to forget these dreams if they are not within our realistic financial spectrum. My sister, for example, is amazing with visual projects, like she puts in work hard and it turns out incredibly well. She couldn't afford to go to college because she got married to my bro when she was 23. In our culture anyway, if you're a female and not a nurse, you ain't doin shit with your life. She started at her last job as a data entry clerk and because of her ability, she kept pitching ideas to her manager until she was able to create her own position with the company doing what she loves. Even doing this, she was feeling unfulfilled, but the job paid the bills. My brother does what he loves, working 2 jobs to pay the bills but it's something he's passionate about for the time being. She ended up going to a women's seminar in LA for 3 days and it literally changed her life. She gathered up the courage to quit her job and saved just enough money to give herself time to really explore her passions. Now she's involved with 2 AMAZING women's organizations that came at exactly the right time for her. We believe that it has to do with her choices, she opened up her mind and thus, her world to a place of opportunities and success and attracted that energy towards her and received it. If she was still stuck with her previous company, she says that she would still be at square 1, lacking purpose and drive in her life. Her and my brothers marriage has been the best that it has because they constantly support one another to pursue what they want. People chase money and mistake it for a form of happiness. But then, they get so caught up in the chase, that they forget what living is really about. They do a job because it serves them well financially but their fire/passion/spark dims with each year...until eventually it just burns out. Our beliefs form our reality, especially about money. If we view it as an obstacle for our happiness then it becomes a roadblock that over the years with the expenses of daily living grows and grows until it creates a shadow on your life. That being said, if you believe that money is what's stopping you from being happy, NO amount of money will ever make you feel content because that will be the limitation that you have created for yourself. In other words, you'll always be chasing that unicorn, hoping for a better picture to show off to your friends, if that makes any sense. I find that our quarter life crisis or even mid life crisis. is a way of your body finally releasing the negative reactions that your (at the time) seemingly well decisions have induced. Your body, mind, spirit/soul, is reminding you "hey buddy, there's a whole world out there, why aren't you out experiencing it?" They are turning points of your life, meant to be chances to reevaluate your situation and become aware of areas for personal development. Your life is meant to be one of constant creation and change. We all have our individual talents and strengths for a reason. We shouldn't feel shame towards are weaknesses' and instead feel grateful for the opportunity to hone our skills and create more strengths for ourselves. We're faced with so many negative messages (daily news being the #1 offender) that we don't notice that our mindset is changed and influenced everyday. If you REALLY listen to the thoughts that run through your head everyday, what's the ratio of positive to negative thoughts? Is there at least one thing in your life that happens everyday that you are GENUINELY happy about? Meditation is based on the notion that "thinking" is a manifestation of our Ego. Our Ego is the false self. It's the part that wants and desires and finds shit to bitch about on the daily. It's similar to how a dog loves a chew toy, just wants something to work on. Our mind is meant to be a tool, used when needed then put down for periods of relaxation. It really is an art nowadays to just revel in "Being". I have periods of this, after some meditation, that no matter how shitty my life gets, I'm just in a state of bliss. I'm happy simply because I am and have no external influences (created by our Ego and therefore are false anyway). Even using words like TRY and ATTEMPT have negative connotations that people are often unaware about. These words give the opportunity for failure, failure is associated with feelings of negativity and falling behind. Be aware about how often you might say the word "try" or even "I just don't have the time", now replace it with positive phrases like "I am" and "I have time/I will make time". Some books I would suggest: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle The Nature of Personal Reality by Jane Roberts The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsh Personally, I love writing. It's been my biggest passion of all time, besides wanting to become a doctor. I started reading medical textbooks at a really young age. I don't have the funds to go to med school and I fucked around a lot in high school. My parents live paycheck to paycheck but somehow our family is still happy. It's hard because growing up I never had a lot of things that most people were lucky to have and I started having to work really early. I never give up on my dream of someday become a doctor and becoming an author on the side. Recently withdrew from school due to depression/anxiety, and got some help. Now I have job opportunities coming up for me in my field, in the meantime to make money for tuition to finish my nursing program. My choice to be a nurse has been my own, I've fought with my WHOLE family about this. I'm the type of person that if you're in my ear harping on about what's best for me, I can't actually figure out what's best for me. I like to learn on my own and it's usually the hard way. I am grateful for my familys' continued support, especially when I was going through a rough period, trying to assert myself as an adult and intellectual individual. My long term goal is to keep upgrading and with help from my regulatory bodies, get financial help to enter med school. My choice to become a doctor has entirely been made on the fact that I love people and I love helping people. When I was going to school, I had one of the highest GPA's in my class, simply because it was something I was truly passionate about. I'm meeting one of my favorite authors on Thursday who just happens to be a doctor/clinical professor at UBC and a writer on the side. I'm looking more into getting a lot of my written pieces published and to get involved with spiritual growth and personal development groups, hopefully as a writer. I'm putting myself out there and I've been blessed with more and more opportunities. I made the choice to acknowledge my feelings of dissatisfaction with my life(however shameful it is to admit that you have a problem and need help) and instead of waiting to "GET LUCKY", I started searching out and creating my own opportunities. I visualize success in my future on the daily and therefore, rid myself of any doubt that will hold me back. I do what it takes because I make my own luck. If you go on meetup.com, there are multiple groups that specialize in certain interests. There are groups for physical activity, personal development and growth and appreciation for the arts. You need to surround yourself with positive, like minded people who are willing to do what it takes to succeed in their passions and thus, flourish in life. Use the resources that we are so lucky to have, internet, library, networking, etc. to BE that person that you've always wanted to be. Stop trying, start being. Discover what you really love and you WILL be successful. Same as PJ, if anyone wants to collaborate ideas on books, energy, meditation or anything, feel free to PM me Last edited by Ri2; 05-08-2012 at 09:32 PM.