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Ri2 · 05-15-2012, 10:26 PM

that's the thing about life. if you can't imagine or visualize that good things will happen to you it more or less never does. however, all the things that could be "the worst case scenario" often does happen.

maybe your definition of failing needs to change. you only fail at something when you stop trying. however, if you try and don't succeed, you should see that as an opportunity to try again (harder and smarter). there is no shame at failing at something and you shouldn't feel bad because of it. it's our society that deems failing as something that is horrible and you should be miserable if you face it. in reality, everybody will fail at something. that's life. people are not meant to be good at everything, because if we were, we wouldn't need other people around. there's something to learn in everybody who shows up in our life and we should learn to acknowledge and accept that.
realize that the predicaments that you get put in are 50% your fault because you decided to put yourself in that situation and let the outcome of that situation dictate your feelings. you can't control how people act towards you but you can control how you react to external factors.

in your case, stop waiting for good shit to happen to you. go out and make good shit happen for yourself. you shouldn't feel that the effort that you put into anything was wasted, even if you feel you "got screwed over" in the end. we really need to value ourselves and the decisions we make, at some point, those decisions seemed right for us at the time so why would you invalidate yourself like that?

sounds like there's a possibility of depression in your original post. it's like tunnel vision and once you're in the dark, it's hard to pull yourself out of it and see the light. surround yourself with positive people and messages. do you have any friends/family that could be around to support you (emotionally/physically/etc) right now? try reading books focused on personal development/growth and empowerment. it helps to know that you're not alone in this situation and it can be a relief once you start seeing how many resources are available to you. take some time and be by yourself, really get in touch with who you are so you can better see how to help yourself out of it. i agree with the guys' above, motivational speakers can be really liberating also. i'm not sure if there's a group like this for guys, but i'm involved with a success circle for women that meet monthly and practice meditation, positive intentions and visualization for our (successful) futures.

also, the past is past... just leave it there. it's of no use to you now nor will it be to you in the future. don't have the thought that "oh well i used to do this" or "it happened to me before", because you're only limiting yourself further. believe in what you can do for yourself today and just do it.

05-15-2012, 10:26 PM	#16
Ri2 Willing to stick a finger in a guys butt for the sake of science Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: The Hood Posts: 357 Thanked 253 Times in 103 Posts Failed 4 Times in 4 Posts	that's the thing about life. if you can't imagine or visualize that good things will happen to you it more or less never does. however, all the things that could be "the worst case scenario" often does happen. maybe your definition of failing needs to change. you only fail at something when you stop trying. however, if you try and don't succeed, you should see that as an opportunity to try again (harder and smarter). there is no shame at failing at something and you shouldn't feel bad because of it. it's our society that deems failing as something that is horrible and you should be miserable if you face it. in reality, everybody will fail at something. that's life. people are not meant to be good at everything, because if we were, we wouldn't need other people around. there's something to learn in everybody who shows up in our life and we should learn to acknowledge and accept that. realize that the predicaments that you get put in are 50% your fault because you decided to put yourself in that situation and let the outcome of that situation dictate your feelings. you can't control how people act towards you but you can control how you react to external factors. in your case, stop waiting for good shit to happen to you. go out and make good shit happen for yourself. you shouldn't feel that the effort that you put into anything was wasted, even if you feel you "got screwed over" in the end. we really need to value ourselves and the decisions we make, at some point, those decisions seemed right for us at the time so why would you invalidate yourself like that? sounds like there's a possibility of depression in your original post. it's like tunnel vision and once you're in the dark, it's hard to pull yourself out of it and see the light. surround yourself with positive people and messages. do you have any friends/family that could be around to support you (emotionally/physically/etc) right now? try reading books focused on personal development/growth and empowerment. it helps to know that you're not alone in this situation and it can be a relief once you start seeing how many resources are available to you. take some time and be by yourself, really get in touch with who you are so you can better see how to help yourself out of it. i agree with the guys' above, motivational speakers can be really liberating also. i'm not sure if there's a group like this for guys, but i'm involved with a success circle for women that meet monthly and practice meditation, positive intentions and visualization for our (successful) futures. also, the past is past... just leave it there. it's of no use to you now nor will it be to you in the future. don't have the thought that "oh well i used to do this" or "it happened to me before", because you're only limiting yourself further. believe in what you can do for yourself today and just do it.