Quote:
Originally Posted by PJ
I was never the best at spending time with my parents, but recently I've been getting more comfortable with just hanging out with them and watching tv or cooking or whatever.
I am 100% sure I will regret it if I don't spend more time with them. What better time to start than now, right?
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Growing up I had constant anxiety because I never had a strong parental figure raising me and I lost my mother from a young age. Now that I'm older I find alot of comfort spending time with my godmother just sitting on the couch and watching tv with her.
I tell people everyday how good they have it, they just never agree with me.
With regards to this thread. It never really happened to me, because I was always blessed with great paying jobs, and I always constantly switched and joined different communities. Now that I'm getting older, i'm buckling down and trying to find a career that I feel comfertable doing for the long haul and that will allow me to take care of myself better without a constant fear of feeling "trapped".
3 years ago I decided it was enough, quit playing WoW/neckbeard games, focused more on my personal health and started looking at possible career options. At the same time I would set money aside to see the world and take a more active role in my hobbies.
Now my goals changed and Im hitting the gym hard, working full time and go to school full time. Ontop of that I network myself out to as many groups as I can.
I hang out with nerdy people some days, club douches others, play sports on the weekend.
I live by the mentality of never getting comfortable. The minute you get fucking comfortable is the minute you don't want to strive for better in your life.
I think a really important thing that people get anxious about is personal relationships. It doesn't have to be about being with a girl to share your experiences with but being with people who have different interests and don't sit at home doing nothing.
And dukes comments about setting goals is really really important. Stop comparing yourself to others, start working on your own damn life, and stop thinking like money is the end of the world.
edit: might add one more thing. most people on RS have some type of higher education and have attended Post Secondary.
They sell you a false future, a fake lifestyle and pretend that life all this rosy.
The minute someone graduates and begins to realize that you have to work a 9-5, that you won't be travelling to exotic locations (i love this one, so many programs such as conservation/business try to promote the "jets" lifestyle) and you are now working in a field that has very little advancement. This belief is pushed to us through popular media (for example, an engineer loves watching megastructures and assumes that he will work building massive buildings all over the world when the reality is he will most likely be stationed in one city his whole life).
Ever since I returned to school I can't believe how many spoiled and "generation of entitlement" kids there are.
These are the kids that usually crash the hardest.
You don't deserve a house, you don't deserve that awesome job, you don't deserve those grades, you don't deserve that hot girl, you don't deserve that meal at the resteraunt.
You DESERVE to work hard TO GET THOSE THINGS.
As for the lonliness aspect of it, that is something I battle everyday, and the best advice I can give you is get disconnected from the computer.
The people that exist behind the screen are not your real friends. You'd be suprised how much getting a cup of coffee with a friend can make you feel good about yourself.
edit: EVEN MORE
There are 2 different types of stress coping mechanisms. The reason I bring this up is because all the quarter life crisis is is unnecassary stress.
In psychology we learn that when we are faced with a problem or a stressor we deal with it in 2 ways
The one approach is "Problem Based Coping"
Essentially you are attacking the problem at the root. Example: You are not doing good in a class. You decide to talk to the teacher and ask how to improve your own grade. He offers himself to tutor you, and in return you get a better than average grade.
While not an immediate relief, these people live healthier and better lives according to my psyche book.
The other approach is "Emotion Based Coping"
Using the same Example:
You are not doing good in a class. Instead of seeking assistance to find out why you are not doing good, you console in a friend who tells you "school is hard and just try better next time". You feel slightly better and go on to fail the course with the intention of retaking the class.
THIS IS DENIAL. These people are shown to live SHORTER lives, and be more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety, and be underachieved.
I think this is the longest post I've ever wrote on RS.