Quote:
Originally Posted by dinosaur
I HATE HATE HATE talking about it with people as I feel like I come off as some whiny bitch who is acting selfish and needs to realize there are bigger issues in the world. I saw a shrink for 2 years during that time and felt immense guilt for taking up someone's time....and time away from anther patient who could have really used it. It DID help me understand some shit, but I mostly stopped because I did not want to feel like a whiny bitch anymore.
I get so tired of the pressure....I don't work hard enough, I don't work long enough, I didn't make the right decision, I'm not caring enough, I don't see my family enough, my house isn't clean enough, I don't have enough goals, I don't have any children, I am not married, I don't own a big house, my career isn't good enough, I don't see my friends enough....I never feel like I have accomplished "enough". I "should" be doing more....this is a big thing to me...I "should all over myself". Even now....I should be doing something else than typing out whiny sentences while feeling sorry for myself.
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I think though that's a barrier that we face all the time, the fact that our problems aren't as big as other people's problems. While there is valid point to that, I also like to believe that everyone's problems are individualized for their own learning experience. Saying that, we shouldn't look at our problem and someone else's and go "theirs is bigger and more important than mine, so I'll just keep it under wraps."
If it wasn't really important, you wouldn't be feeling it. The shame that comes with that doesn't let us feel our emotions/hardships the way we are supposed to, inhibiting life lessons and emotional range, etc. Our version of down and out will always be different than someone else's version, we just can't control that. However, we can acknowledge our personalized version and help ourselves to work through it.
It's just a matter of controlling it within reason. I'm not saying that if people who are well off/have resources available to them and feel down should start adopting unhealthy coping habits like people who have no other options.
I just think it's just our responsibility to ourselves to not invalidate our feelings because it's harder to let it go in the future and make our peace with it if for years, we train our minds to think that there is no peace to be had in the first place. We have to be realistic. Any change that we want to evoke externally will always come within us first. If we dismiss our problems but try to help others, we won't be doing much because we wouldn't be able to give ourselves fully to the situation.
Damn Dino, I love you and you are so accomplished to me
