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jameswift · 05-25-2012, 01:32 PM

Often I hear about people saying that once you lose trust, you can never get it again. It is forever a tarnished and damaged.

I believe there are times however when you can rebuild trust. I am not saying it is an easy thing to do, perhaps to most of us, it's not something even worthwhile trying to do.

I will give you an example. A friend of mine had a very destructive relationship where his girlfriend had cheated on him at least a half dozen times. He of course broke up with her and then forever found it difficult to trust woman.

The hotter and more social they were, the more he would assume they were cheating on him, even if they were not. This is of course baggage.

Now move 7 years later and another friend of mine is dating this "Ex". I just found out recently during a dinner where I met them. He goes to introduce me to his girlfriend and I think it was written on my face. She also remembers me from way back being her ex's friend.

The evening went fine however her and I were looking at one another because we both knew about her past.

I speak with my friend today and I didn't want to stick my nose where it doesn't belong however I wanted to see if he would give me the green light to offer an opinion.

Before I could even say a hello, he explained to me he already knows about her past with my friend.

He pretty much told me that after they became an exclusive couple with the intention of taking things serious, she told him of the fact she had a boyfriend that she cheated on.

She explained that at that point in her life, she was immature and she took other men's attention as true affection that she didn't feel she was getting at home. She used it as a crutch to deal with her problems and ended up hurting herself and others in the process.

So the question becomes, is this a case where someone really did grow up, learn the error of their ways, and break a pattern?

This is an interesting situation because it's dealing with two points, the "once a cheater always a cheater" comment, and the whole "once someone breaks trust can it be rebuilt?"

The rebuilding of trust is actually with me. I am inclined to believe her even though a number of years ago there is no chance in the world I would have ever even considered something of the sort.

05-25-2012, 01:32 PM	#1
jameswift Banned (ABWS) Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Vancouver Posts: 69 Thanked 156 Times in 23 Posts Failed 9 Times in 3 Posts	Trust Often I hear about people saying that once you lose trust, you can never get it again. It is forever a tarnished and damaged. I believe there are times however when you can rebuild trust. I am not saying it is an easy thing to do, perhaps to most of us, it's not something even worthwhile trying to do. I will give you an example. A friend of mine had a very destructive relationship where his girlfriend had cheated on him at least a half dozen times. He of course broke up with her and then forever found it difficult to trust woman. The hotter and more social they were, the more he would assume they were cheating on him, even if they were not. This is of course baggage. Now move 7 years later and another friend of mine is dating this "Ex". I just found out recently during a dinner where I met them. He goes to introduce me to his girlfriend and I think it was written on my face. She also remembers me from way back being her ex's friend. The evening went fine however her and I were looking at one another because we both knew about her past. I speak with my friend today and I didn't want to stick my nose where it doesn't belong however I wanted to see if he would give me the green light to offer an opinion. Before I could even say a hello, he explained to me he already knows about her past with my friend. He pretty much told me that after they became an exclusive couple with the intention of taking things serious, she told him of the fact she had a boyfriend that she cheated on. She explained that at that point in her life, she was immature and she took other men's attention as true affection that she didn't feel she was getting at home. She used it as a crutch to deal with her problems and ended up hurting herself and others in the process. So the question becomes, is this a case where someone really did grow up, learn the error of their ways, and break a pattern? This is an interesting situation because it's dealing with two points, the "once a cheater always a cheater" comment, and the whole "once someone breaks trust can it be rebuilt?" The rebuilding of trust is actually with me. I am inclined to believe her even though a number of years ago there is no chance in the world I would have ever even considered something of the sort.