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My girlfriend just broke up with me on the phone a few days ago and now I have been having a really difficult time dealing with this. We had been dating for a year and nine months. This was my first serious relationship so after the break up, I thought the world would end for me.
We were friends before we started to date. The reason for the break up was that communication just wasn't there between the two of us. Communication was number one priority for her. She would be the type who would like talk about everything while I can speak my mind, I am rather quiet but I am more of a listener. Within the last few months, It was like her talking to a wall of silence. I didn't have much to say which was the cause of the downfall.
It wasn't always like this, for the first year and a bit after dating, we could talk about anything and everything was going great until we had a fight near Christmas time. From there on, I somehow completely closed myself off. I was too afraid to express myself and eventually conversations from the two of us went from great to become stale sentences.
In all honesty, mentally I didn't know about this until now but it is too late. We had a talk about this to see what was wrong with me in early April. I had told her that I was in a transition stage in finding a new career which wasn't working in my favor. After seeing most of us friends gradually getting married with the last year, I wanted to make sure that I would have a future career(financially) that would help support the both of us. She was already in her field so career wise, she was already set. Although we didn't really talk about it much, we were both looking for a partner who would eventually lead up to marriage.
What I didn't tell her was that I had been suffer from slight depression from post concussion which was the reason for me being down. She wasn't happy within the last several months and decided it was best for both of us to call it quits.
I seriously messed up big time. I really did wish I did open up and express what was going on. Just maybe this relationship could have continued. This was definitely a hard but difficult learning experience. Our relationship was pretty much similar to that "Strangers, Again" short.
I miss anything about her and I can't stop thinking about the good times we shared. She made me into a better person and I am thankful for that.
I am very fortunately to have great friends to talk to me which has ease the pain a bit. I packed up all her belonging which I can't find the courage to call her to give them back. I have been trying to avoid checking out her Facebook and etc.
There had been times where I wanted to call her immediately and tell her how I feel and maybe she would take me back.
I don't know what to do now. My heart is saying to work on the issues that caused the break up in hopes that one day we can get back to together.
Can we also be friends? I am at the stage I don't think that I would find a girl like her again. I don't know if this is love but whatever it was it was, it hurts.
Thoughts? I apologize for the rambling.
