[El Bastardo]

My bad for making a super late posting of a reply to this thread. My apologies to the OP who sent me this PM as a reply days ago

On the phone call, she asked why I called which I said that I wanted to check up on her and see if she wanted to make plans later on to grab a quick bite. At this time, she sounded very upset and frustrated. She didn't want to grab a bite as she was going out with her friends. She starts to weep on the phone. I asked her what is wrong which she said the communication between us just isn't working and that she tried but she just isn't happy and that it is over between us. She needed a partner who can talk to her all the time about everything versus I need someone who talks less (I don't think this is true). I honest thought this was a bad dream as I just woke up when she called. I wanted to say what was wrong with me but I knew at heart, she already made the tough decision and won't back down. I told her that I won't be calling her which she said I could. We both said good byes and hung up. I do have a hunch that the phone call was intentional for break up.

If she cared for me so much, I wished she broke up with me in person.

A few signs that she clocked out out the relationship was a few days prior. I met up with her for coffee on her birthday to give her a present. I had to apologized last minute that I couldn't take her out for dinner as I had to go back to work last minute to cover a shift due to a death in the family for one of the managers. I wanted to give her some snacks and drinks that I bought from the states a few days prior but she said to leave it at home which was unusual since she was already going home.

Usually she usually would send me her monthly schedule so we could plan around our schedules. She forgot/delayed sending it me until 12 days later this month which I didn't think much of. I wanted to make plans for her birthday but I didn't know if she would be working. I ended up doing a last minute gathering dinner for her a few days prior which felt rushed in my opinion. Our friends enjoyed the evening though. I think she wanted me to take charge/initiative and plan it out ahead of time. Obviously due to poor communication, this wasn't well thought out on my side. During that evening, she wasn't really affectionate with me throughout the dinner as she was too busy hanging and mingling with the rest of the group. I was a bit upset about this but didn't want to say anything (Once again my fault)

Although I am upset and angry with myself within the last few days. I took this incident as motivation. I booked an appointment to see a therpist about my depression as well booked a registered massage theorpy appointment for my neck which is causing the constant headaches. My family doctor wouldn't prescribe me any medication for the depression. He mentioned that I have to take it easy and do avoid physically contact sports ie: hockey, etc and do moderate exercises daily to prevent rushing any more concussion like symptoms. I have been reading guides/forums online on how to improve on communcation within a relationship which has given me better insight.

I admit that I do have flaws which I wouldn't have seen if it wasn't for the break up. I am going to try "No Contact" with her until I am happy with myself first. I want to make sure that I am happy first of all to order to heal. I want to improve on expressing myself and communication not just for her but to help me grow as a person.

Part of me thinks that she has a eye for someone else already. A girl like her won't stay single for long as I am sure there will many guys in line (Sickening but thats life). I want her to happy regardless if she takes me back but my priority now is to be happy.