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I've lived with 3 people in my relationships.
Since I'm single, that gives you an idea of how all of that turned out!
Logically, it usually makes way more sense to live together, especially if you're both currently out on your own.
You'll save money on rent/mortgage/bills and often food as well. You also think how great it would
be to see each other all the time since you love the other person and see them all the time anyway.
Wouldn't all this be so convenient!
With every good, there is a bad and the bad can be very bad.
If you are like me, and have a very demanding and stressful career, you can come home tired, stressed out
and not in a very social mood. When you come home, there she is, pissed off about the argument you had
last night that you didn't resolve because you were too tired to talk.
She's all ready to talk and you're still tired. Now you've left work, to come home to even more stress. There is
no "I'll call you later" or "I'm too tired to see you today".
I dated someone and I lived in her place. She had a very demanding career and so did I. I'd come home earlier
from work and not feel hungry so I'd destress by listening to music and just taking a bath or something. Then
she comes home, stressed and hungry. She would be like if you're home first make dinner! I just didn't
think about it sometimes, I was too tired and I wasn't hungry anyway. Now I'm a selfish asshole and she wasn't shy
about reminding me while she makes dinner for herself.
Of course, it's a condo so you're tripping over each other when you're fighting. Then I'd end up leaving to cool off for
a few hours at the gym and then maybe see some buddies somewhere. I come back and she's even more pissed
off that I just "walked out".
If you break up, it's a pain in the ass. I've been VERY lucky with this compared with some friends but it is still
a huge bunch of garbage to deal with.
Here is some advice from my experiences and friends as well.
Do not move in with a girl who has not lived on her own first. If she's going from mom and dad's to your place, have fun
with the potential issues you'll be forced to deal with. Often these girls don't know about things like bills (we're not talking
about shopping bills or cell phone bills here either) and some girls at 25 still don't even do their own laundry! They won't
likely be doing yours or if in my case, they will ruin your $400 shirts because "Dry-clean Only" means "Washing Machine
is Okay".
Do not move in with the person unless you can see a legitimate future with them. Don't just get blinded by love and attraction. Look at the situation logically and ask yourself is there the potential for something to happen with this on a permanent basis.
If the answer is no, maybe it's not a good idea.
Set ground rules long in advance and know the person well enough to know if they're the type to stick to it. Who makes dinner
why does the cleaning, who pays the bills, who does what and when? It may sound a little cold but it's a lot better to discuss
and establish this now rather then 6 months later when you're now angry at one another and you consider breaking up over
day-to-day activities.
While it makes sense to move in financially, don't let that be the reason. That is a bonus to moving in IF you're both in a position
to be contributing however if moving in is something to help you save, you're probably financially strapped and you'll now have a
new and exciting thing to both argue about (money and contribution is a huge argument pit).
Decide what you want to do and then establish the rules and see where it goes! It's a big step and the relationship may change,
not for the worse or better, but it will change.
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