Quote:
Originally Posted by k00laid
Yea Ive asked her, and she says she doesnt need it, just straight up no needs. After talking to her many times and this and that she just doesnt enjoy sex and she sees no point in it. If I had to guess she would probably go the rest of her life without sex if she could.
We've been going out for a little more then 3 years and we havent had sex in 10 months. When we first got together it took almost 6 months, then we had it like once a month (which im already dying here) and she just told me she didnt like it, doesnt enjoy, sees no point in it.
I on the other hand need the physical closeness/intimacy. But when she told me she doesnt like it, I didnt want to do it with her either because Im the sort of guy who doesnt like to make people do something they dont want/enjoy doing. Thus leading it on till now for 10 months of doing all the boyfriend duties but none of the boyfriend benefits.
I want to break up, Ive been unhappy and dissatisfied with the relationship for quite some time but I cant think of a way to breakup with her without destroying her self esteem (as its already low). Yet I'm getting really sick of having bf responsibilities and not getting anything out of it. I know being in a relationship is about give and take but I feel like Im just giving and not taking anything. My friends tell me Im too nice and I should just do it, but Im sure she'll have a tough time without me in her life *sigh*
|
i agree with jameswift's view that her self esteem plays a really big part.
however, i think that your girlfriend shouldn't be relying on just you for that sort of validation. that sort of thing always has to come from her first, whereas external factors are merely just an affirmation of her beliefs. if she doesn't see it herself first, there's NOTHING anybody (including you) can say to
permanently lift her spirits.
i don't believe you should feel ashamed for breaking up with her because of the sex thing. people NEED physical affection, it's how we connect and strengthen relationships. as much as you are respecting her needs, you can't deny that you have needs of your own.
self esteem issues with women are really tricky. but keep in mind, it's called SELF esteem because it's how we view ourselves. if we love ourselves, we'll subconsciously have the desire to constantly love others. i feel like her low self esteem is something that she should be working on as an individual single lady. it will be hard for her to find her true sense of self and assert that into the world when she has you as an emotional cushion.