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It doesn't sound like you have had closure. I know you are not happy or satisfied the relationship ended.....but are you satisfied with the reason (I don't mean 'happy' about it, I mean you understand it)?
Does it make sense to you and you are now just having a hard time getting over your love for her? Or, do you lay there at night and say, "what the fuck!?".
Maybe you need to phone her up and be honest?
"Hi, this is xxxxx. I don't want to get back together, but I have some questions....". Then, once you understand (whether is be rational or not), that book will close.
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