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Originally Posted by exploration03
You seem like you genuinely want to make her happy and hats off to you for finding a person that you 100% know you need in your life. If you're asking what you need I make it better, maybe think bak to the basics. Forget the negative ideas surrounding her unhappiness. Focus on making her happy.
You know what she likes? Hobbies, interests, pastimes or sports. Havin a child really pulls you away from all of that , forces you to grow up really quick. I'm also late 20s and my son is 8wks old, it's a huge demanding responsibility. Forget the budget as much as possible and focus on her and just her. Find a baby sitter, make her feel special and appreciated. Once she remembers why she is in the situation she is in the first place, I have a good feeling shell realize she chose to be there and it wasn't something she was forced to do.
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I want to do this but our budget is very tight not leaving much time to do anything....we still get out and do things just not often (or as often as I would like)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gridlock
First, thank you. You have a child together, and that is worth the effort.
When I say "I can't do this anymore", I don't mean immediate break-up.
It sounds like you are trying a lot to help...but what of you?
Here you are on revscene, basically crying out for help. Saying "What more can I do?"
You can't. Men are fixers. She's having a problem, and your solution is to solve it. You can't. The best thing you can do is listen. No solutions, no 'what if we do this', just listen.
But I still get a 'we can't do this' feeling. And, that's not out of hate, that's out of love. You are working long days, busting it to provide for a family. Can you really keep up that energy at work all day, then come home to have your head taken off? I don't need the answer, but ask yourself the question, "how's that working out for you?"
I think there really could be a chemical imbalance. Or not, but we don't know.
I also think you really need to get some impartial help. I get that there are things you wouldn't want to share here. Share them in a safe place. They'll be able to talk about a medical side. Maybe its emotional. If she's trapped in toddler land all day, without a lot of friends to talk to...she could be going 'nuts'...I know I'd lose it. We need that connection with the adult, outside world.
What's the point of working your ass off if it isn't getting you anywhere?
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The child is not mine, but I do love her like my own. Best kid ever!
I just want to be the support she needs, the one to bring her up when she is down but it feels like I keep her down with the stupid fights we have.
I'm trying my darnedest to make it work but I just don't know how to "fix" it.
I will talk with her about seeking some form of counsel for the both of us as well as her independently if she wishes.