Restocking Condoms: A Frivolous Affair by G_K
I had this one time at Safeway where I decided to use the self-check station because the lineups were too long at the tills. At the self-check out station, I literally spent about a minute or two trying to scan the bar code on the condom box, but to no avail. I can feel the impatience in the air as the line ups grow longer and at some point, an elderly East Indian woman, being the Good Samaritan she was, decided to help me. Out of nowhere, she takes the box from my hand and attempts to scan it, herself
. She, too, was unable to achieve the “electronic bleep” which goes off after successfully scanning an item. Intrinsically, she inspects the box and from what I can assume was due to old age, she was unable to clearly see the labeling.
Squinting, she tries to make out the words: Tro….Troololo, nooo…. TROJAN Cond-oh, OHHHHHHHHH. *hands me back the box*.
At this point, I decided to go to the cashier. As I step out of line, I can feel the silent judgments emanating from each individual who had the misfortune of lining up behind me
. Once at the cashier, she too was unable to scan the Trojans
.“God…………. Damn it”,I uttered to myself when suddenly, she picks up her intercom: Price check on Trojan condoms, price check on Trojans. At this point, out of frustration or embarrassment, I interrupted and said, “You know what? It’s okay, I don’t need them”
and walked off to my car. I thought to myself “Oh well, maybe I’ll just have some “me time” with my “me time” hand.
Inside my car, I start my engine and the radio comes on. It’s Jack from JackFM playing what he wants, no doubt. That night he goes, “for all you sexually frustrated guys out there, you need to take Divinyls’ advice. *proceeds to play Divinyls’ – I Touch myself*
F*ck You, Jack. The End.
OH BTW bbq
To the few ladies that peruse this site, I only buy magnum Trojans
jk
