Quote:
Originally Posted by El Bastardo
The following is a confidential post. If the member would like to reply to any comments please PM me
1)what do you guys think that keeps a relationship last?
2)how do you keep it lasting?
3) how should i deal with her friend that tried to get with her before,
and 4) how do you deal with insecurities such as worrying about if somethings going to happen with your significant other and someone else?
how does seeing each other too often deter a relationship?
|
1 & 2. Mutual respect, communication, honesty, and knowing what to walk away from an argument and let the other person win. Not fighting over stupid things like the toilet seat being left up, talking about "deal breakers" (ie: what is 'cheating', marriage, kids, expectations about living together, intimacy or frequency of sex, etc). This doesnt have to be a MASSIVE or intimidating conversation, but if you are planning to have a long-term relationship....these things need to be discussed to avoid animosity or disappointment in the future.
3 & 4. Have an honest conversation with her about them and tell her that you trust her.....and MEAN IT. It is hard to say "don't be insecure", but if you fear that this is going to be a problem, you need to work on yourself....of choose a different partner. You should never start a relationship with these feelings. Cheaters are gonna cheat no matter have much you worry or don't worry about it. You can freak out, check her phone, follow her, tell her she can't go out, etc....if a bitch is going to cheat...she'll make it happen. If you have any thoughts of this....is this the best relationship for you? Look, you can sit there all you want and worry about....it is not going to stop her if she wants to...and if she doesn't, you will drive yourself INSANE worrying about it and inevitably drive her away.
5. There is no standard answer for how often you see each other. Some people see each other almost everyday or move in together...other only see each other a couple days a week. The answer is...whatever works for you. You really can't start a relationship with all these concerns and/or guidelines or you will constantly worrying about if you are doing something right or wrong. If you start to feel that seeing your SO a lot is affecting your relationship or life in a negative way...talk about it an re-prioritizing. The best thing you can do is talk about shit like this.
Overall, the thing that concerns me the most about your entire post is where you raise concern about her drinking and partying. Are you SURE this is the person you want to have a long-term committed relationship with?
How did this relationship come about? Did you date for a while? How did you meet her? Have you talked about any of your concerns regarding her guy friends or her drinking?
Also, what do you like about her? What gives you butterflies? What does she do for you?