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Old 07-02-2012, 12:06 PM   #15
MindBomber
Wanna have a threesome?
 
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Quote:
1)what do you guys think that keeps a relationship last?
2)how do you keep it lasting?
3) how should i deal with her friend that tried to get with her before,
and 4) how do you deal with insecurities such as worrying about if somethings going to happen with your significant other and someone else?

in addition with having my first girlfriend,
i try my best to treat her well everytime,
there may be few conflicts here and there but i understand that relationships are all about communication and i always discuss with her whenever there is an argument that i don't want the argument to break us apart but to help us understand how we deal with arguments such as those and work it out together.

also, another question,
how does seeing each other too often deter a relationship?
1. No, not a chance, this succeeding is as likely as hitting zero on a roulette wheel. I don't understand your reasoning of waiting for "the one," whether you're referring to sexually or in general, but relationships take practice and the first one will almost never succeed as a result. Having a couple casual relationships along the way is how you learn to share your life so intimately with someone, and at the same time learn about yourself and who you're compatible with.

2. Until you've had a couple casual relationships, you will not really understand how to make a relationship work. In general, mutual respect and trust is the more important of all concerns. You've already demonstrated you lack trust. I can't think of a person who has overcome a lack of trust while in a relationship, it just not possible.

3. You don't. Your new girlfriend's friendship with this fellow should not be in any way impacted by your relationship with her, she has not slept with him and you have no reason to expect that she will in the future. Being a persons significant other does not grant a veto power over who they can be friends with, although many people try to exercise one, it results in relationship failure. If you trust her, this would be a non-issue.

4. You remind yourself that jealously is a groundless and solely detrimental emotion and it is to be ignored at all costs, but like I said, people rarely overcome this during their first relationship.

5. It's not so much seeing each other too often to that causes significant harm to a relationship, it's attempting to merge your independent lives into a single entity that destroys relationships. You need to spend time apart, see friends and participate in activities separate from one another.

Planning on it becoming a long term relationship won't work either. Relationships are natural and fluid, no mathematical and pre-planned. You should not expect the relationship to last 3 months and you should not expect it to last 10 years, just roll with it and see what happens as you learn whether you are compatible.
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