[El Bastardo]

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I really don't know where or even how to start. It all came at a sudden shock. First off, I'm 24 and shes 21, we WERE in a long distance relationship for 3 years(We see each other about 2 months a year during the Summer) and we recently just broke up. Like all relationships and especially LD Relationships, we all have fights with each other and sometimes it gets bad. But we've always calmed ourselves down after a day or two and get back together since we love each other. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, she called me crying and complained that her mom was going to ship her off to UK(Shes from China) if she sleeps with me.

Her mom has never been a fan of us dating, be it I'm not a Brad Pitt model, I'm not driving 100k cars, spending lavishly on her daughter or that I'm not there to take care of her daughter. She gave her the ultimatum of making her not to sleep with me(shes a Virgin and I have tried to sleep with her last year, we were naked and in a hotel room but it was really hurting her, so I told her that since I love her, I don't want her to be in pain because I didn't bring enough lube with me at the time) I didn't care, I loved this girl, I didn't want her to be in pain, so I elected not to have sex with her and really hurt her.)

She'll ship her off to UK if I come and make her not see me and have her tested to see if shes a virgin. Like she's 21..I don't get why her mom is like that one bit, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I'm not poor(Middle Class), I'm pretty good looking(but not model like etc) and I don't cheat on her. It just boggles my mind. Sorry if I'm getting a little off topic, so anyways. During the phone conversation, I told her to stop crying and everything will be alright. I can promise you and her that we don't have to sleep together or do any of that. I just want to spend time with you and that's all I want. I don't care about the sex stuff, cause if I did I would've took her Virginity. She agrees and told her mom and I thought that issue was resolved.

Fast forward to last Wednesday, she told me that she really wants to get into this UK school for a term and is trying her best. So I was like oh sure that's awesome! So on Thursday, I brought it up that, since shes going to UK anyways, than I guess we can have sex? She hesitated and replied with "I don't want to talk about it right now.." and "I'm really stressed", all I wanted was a simple Yes or No. But all she gave me was a stone-cold answer. I thought something was wrong, so I pushed the issue and explained to her. I confronted her about being different/cold compared to last year, last year she practically begged me to sleep with her. One thing lead to another and she said "Than lets break up than" and being in the middle of an argument and mad, I said "Sure whatever if that's what you want" and ended it there.

All couples fight and bicker and argue...especially when she and I care about each other so much.

Than we didn't kept in contact at all for 3 days and on Monday(2 days ago) I messaged her and told her that I still love you and stuff like that. We've always fought and we've broken up a few times and I thought this would be the same, either she would message me and make me happy or vice versa. This time I did and she read the message and never replied for 9 hours. I messaged her on another program and she said "Oh I deleted WhatsApp, what did you say?" So I told her and here's where the nightmare started.

She pretty told me that we weren't right for each other and we always fight and how she hates LD and that she doesn't love/want to be with me anymore. This was via text, so I knew it was getting serious, so I called her and we started talking. She said, she doesn't feel the same way about me anymore, I don't love you anymore, I did love you a lot before but slowly and slowly it started getting less and less. Obviously, I still love her and she did make me promise during the first year of our relationship that if either of us leaves, please try to get the other one back. So I tried my best to talk with her for a full hour but it didn't work. She said, she doesn't want to do LD, she wants a BF that will always let her be right and put her on a pedestal, that will make soup for her when shes sick and take care of her. I can't do that when we're LD. I promised her that after we both graduate, she can either move here(CAN) or I can move there(China) and we both have 1 more year left. She refused.

During the phone conversation she was crying her eyes out, like if you have absolutely zero feelings for me, like you said, you wouldn't be crying. She kept telling me no she doesn't love me anymore, move on etc. Told her that if she really didn't have any feelings for me right now, she wouldn't be crying. Last weekend on Wednesday, was also her birthday. She was so happy, I told her everything from the heart(how I love her and want to spend it with her) and she did the same. And now after a week you tell me that you have zero feelings for me? I really find that hard to believe.

I actually did try to get her back, it didn't really work. I told her to come see me when I'm in China in the middle of July(declined), told her to come spend 2 weeks with me and if you dont feel anything, than we can break up(also declined and told me that her mom wont let her and shes not gonna lie to her mom for me). She claims she doesnt want to see me(her ex-bf) this summer or this year, maybe after she studies in UK and has a year to think, she might but right now, she wants to be single, do her test and take a term in UK. She told me not to message her at all this year and not to call her, but wants to keep in contact via facebook or something, so we can still be friends maybe a year or two down the road but right now we shouldn't.

I declined, I didn't want to be friends with her, I was pissed and mad. And I'm not gonna wait 1year+ for you to think about it while I sit on the sidelines. So we removed each other on every app + FB. So yeah, during this time shes still crying, she kept emphasizing that she did really love me but now she doesnt, she doesnt have any feelings for me whats so ever, she says right now she doesnt want to talk to me but after a year or so, we can be friends etc, i was like dude the last thing i want to do is be friends with you, i was pissed lol

I told her to take a look at our pictures together and tell me she doesn't still have feelings for me. She refused.

Than she said that "slowly I started losing feelings for you, like 3 months ago it was like 50%, I kept telling myself that I still love him and I was just under a lot of stress, than the last two months, it started to go lower and lower and last weekends fight just made it to 0." She asked me if I will remember her and remember all the good memories we've had together. I told her no, you're out of my life, I don't want to talk or have anything to do with you. I'm going to forget everything we've ever had or done together. She says "Why? I will remember all the good times we've had etc" If I remember, all it will do is make my heart ache and hurt. I really don't want to.

I really wanted to spend time with her this year. I really wanted to at least talk to her in person about this but she won't even see me this year, even when I spent $2000(tickets already purchased) to fly to China to see her in 10 days. I don't want to break up over this thing, I don't want to break up over the phone or text messages. I told her to spend a day or a week with me and if she doesn't have feelings for me, she can break it off. But she won't even do that. I told her to say it in person and she said we can do it via FaceTime which I declined.

What hurts so much was, if you can see how much this girl really loved me for the first 2 years, you'd probably want to try to get her back too. I don't believe she's over me or doesn't love me anymore. Maybe I'm just trying to lie to myself? Who knows. I asked her if she met a new guy or found one? She swears she didn't and she won't want to date anyone now, she wants to stay single.

I stayed up the whole night on Monday night(Tuesday Morning) wide awake and thinking about it and her. I spent the whole Tuesday afternoon with my best friend, going out and doing activities, no dice. I still kept thinking about her. I really want her back, is there absolutely anything I can do? My gut feeling is she still loves me, she can't just turn on/off the love switch just like that. But I'm sure all the guys/girls gut feeling are the same once they broke up, so I'm not sure what to think. All I know is, I really wish last Friday never happened and we never talked on the phone. Her mom raised her alone since her dad had sold her to her mom when she was very little. I'm 99% sure her mom has been filling her head with lies and kept persuading her to end it with me and that I don't love you anymore, he just wants to have sex with you etc etc etc since she has done and said that to her in the past but I was able to calm my girlfriend(now ex) down and tell her that I really do care about her and make her feel secure.

I checked my WhatsApp at 6am, since I couldn't sleep and saw her listed as "Online" either she lied to me that she deleted it or she wanted to check what I wrote and misses me OR she has another friend on WhatsApp but as far as I know she doesn't and I'm the only person she talks to on WhatsApp.

I still really love her so much. I don't know what to do...I have already purchased my plane ticket last month and I don't want to waste it and do nothing and let this girl get away. I don't know what to do. Can anyone give some feedback or thoughts about this? Please?

Sorry for the long read and I do apologize. I know it's RS and you guys probably think I'm a pussy for thinking and loving her the way I do or did. But you can't blame me, after all I'm only human.