The following is a continuation of the reply from the anonymous poster
Yep, we do bicker and fight. We were born and grew up with different cultures and ways of life. Theirs tons of misunderstandings during a LDR, sometimes you say things and without seeing your expression or body language, you might interperet as something else. I think it's normal for people in relationships and especially LDR to fight and bicker since we can't talk/see each other in person therefore a lot of misunderstandings.
What do we fight about? It's nothing serious most of the time, just minor or sometimes major misunderstandings over the phone like how I act towards certain things. It was pretty good when I do see her, we don't fight in person, we get along extremely well, it was probably the best moments of my life spending it with her lol although we did fight once or twice during those 6 months, she was having bad cramps and her mom made her go out into the city(in 38'C+ weather) to pick up her heels/shoes, I kept asking her why won't her mom wait another day til you're feeling better and not having cramps and shit like that. That was probably the only fight and another fight was how she kept saying I won't be coming back for her and if I will leave her when I go back and find another girl. Shes quite insecure I might add..
Problem 2:
Yes she is. Theirs no doubt about it, I don't like it one bit. Shes old enough to make her decisions and shes trying to ruin her mood and day when shes happy talking to me? I'm not kidding, she would tell her how I'm probably gonna leave her and I don't love her and shit like that when her daughter gets too happy talking to me. She wants her daughter to live the life SHE wants her to live and not her daughter. Her daughter doesn't really get to choose a lot of the choices, she makes the decisions for her. Unfortunately, she can't pack and move out, her dad kidnapped her when she was like 6, demanded money from the mom and sold her to her mom after she gave him the money. So she says her mom raised her by herself and stuff like that, so she can't just leave her when she took care of me when my dad didn't want me.
X2, it is fucking bullshit the things she does to her and makes her do. If I really wanted to, she wouldn't even be a virgin anymore. Maybe it was my good-heart that got me into this mess, maybe if I tooken her virginity last year, this might not have happened. My heart told me, we love each other and if we don't do it now, we can just do it next time. She was crying and hurting a lot on the bed naked but kept telling me she doesn't care and just wants to do it with me. I couldn't stand the thought of her hurting, screaming and crying.
This mother thing won't end unless she somehow turns over a new leaf. I've never met a mother like that, controlling everything, even when her daughter is laughing and happy with me. I would think, since I'm treating her well and making her daughter happy, she would approve and let us be and let nature take it's course without her forcing shit to happen. If I was treating her like shit and bad, than maybe she would interrupt and tell her daughter NO!
#4
Yes I think it's extremely unfair to me, doing it over text/phone. The least she could do is tell me in person, which she replied with "Facetime than?" 2. I think her mother played a huge part in this, no doubt. 4. It wasn't like a fairy tale, we had ups and downs but it was good, or at least in my POV. And I'm guessing in her POV too since she says she loved every moment she spent with me and all those happy memories, she'll always remember.
To be honest, I was pretty happy with my life. I found the girl I love(or I thought I did..), good friends, school is going well and good health. Everything seemed great and all I wanted to focus on was how to better myself to get a good job and make a lot of money, so we can have a good future. It was pretty damn good I must say. I had no complaints.
I agree. That's just some immature bullshit that I shouldn't even be having. I will start looking at it from your POV, it does hurt now, it hurts a lot now but I'm trying my best lol And I really don't want to head to China, I have nothing to do there, it's dirty and I'd rather stay in Vancouver, gonna see if I can refund my ticket..since the sole reason of this ticket was to see her and spend time with her.
Thx for all your good points and reasoning!
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Originally Posted by jayare604
time to move on bro, long distance relationships pretty much never work.
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I know, I know. I thought we could beat the odds. I really thought we could, especially after the first 2 years.
Thx!
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Originally Posted by miss_crayon
You must like romance movies because half of the stuff you said would only happen in movies. You guys made a promise if the relationship was to ever end that one of you would chase the other one back? Her mom would bring her to a doctor to see if her hymen is broken? The fact that she's crying means she's not over you?!
What were you expecting?? That you'd chase her and she'd come crying back to you because she suddenly realized how amazing you are? Or she'd come to a realization with the amount of tears she spent on this 'breakup' that she'd be like "OH FUCK I NEED HIM IN MY LIFE?!" The tears she shed doesn't mean she still has feelings for you....please try to understand that. Some girls will cry for the hell of it and some cry because they don't know what else to do.
A person doesn't break up with someone within a day or 2 over something so trivial. She told you straight up she's been having feelings of uncertainty 3 months ago..she broke up with you a long time ago but just didn't know how to tell you. She said she still wants to be friends and hope you guys remember the happy times because she is too much of a loser to just say "hey...the feelings are gone but I'd still like you to obsess over me because I'm a LG. OH and with the possibility that if I do want you again..you'll be here waiting"
Like someone said..you're 24. Pack your bags and move out of fantasy land. Everyone has been hurt before and has said "oh she was a great girl..you'd think that too if you knew her" kinda bullshit. Everyone thinks their ex is amazing and gods gift to the world but you'll look back at this years from now and think 'What was I thinking?'
Do not call her, do not msg her, she is dead to you from here on out.
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I'm not a fan of romance movies, yes we did. She told me that during our first year, she made me promise her and shit like that. Which I did. I'm guessing she likes those types of things? Who knows. Yep, her mom did say that and she was crying in the car(on her way to school) and balling her eyes out during class, I had to call her to calm her down. That's what I would assume, if I didn't like the girl, I wouldn't be shedding a single tear for her, even if I'm breaking up with her.
I was expecting, I could convince her to come back to me since it seemed like such a minor thing and we have argued over other minor things before and after a day or two, it'd be all gravy. We'd talk about it and everything would be fine. I didn't expect her to come crying back, I expected her to realize that she actually loves me and I love her and she just made that decision out of anger and in the heat of the moment type of thing. Not exactly, more like "Oh fuck...why did I...when I still like him
"
Exactly what I thought, it was such a minor issue..she didn't know how to tell me but she would still act the same and keep feeding me lies about how she can't wait for me to come and plan things we'd do together when I arrive in July? Could be a possibility no doubt but I don't think so or I don't know.
Fuck I know, I know..everyone probably thinks that about their ex's. I won't and I'm trying my absolutely best not to think about her. But it's quite hard since the wounds are still fresh and the habit of talking to her everyday and sharing things together is hard to change.
Thx!
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Originally Posted by yray
Op, just let it go. Chinese girls are really attached to their mothers, in a way, it's like dating their mother through a proxy. If their mother says no, it's pretty much 100% no unless she decides to revolt.
Parents will always try to think of the future. Imagine what will you do when you go to China or her coming to Canada. Will you both be able to find a place to live, friends, jobs? My ex and I were in the same position; for a lack of a better term, she was too fob to work in Canada even with a double masters and I refused to move to the mainland because I can't find a job there for sure (well I could go to HK but she doesn't want to), and eventually we buckled under the stress of figuring out the future and just broke up.
Just take the plane ticket and go on vacation. You might meet people on your as you go around.
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