[El Bastardo]

The following is a reply from the anonymous member

Originally Posted by j3welz

What you have is a serious case of oneitis that's clouding all of your judgement. You're more afraid of losing her and her possibly finding another bf (maybe in UK) that's gonna rawdog that pussy which you never got.

Think of the current circumstances:
1) you're both living on opposite sides of the world
2) i'm assuming she doesn't have Canadian citizenship so it's not like she can just come and work here right after she graduates
3) if you go to HK to work, you'll still be in LD as she's in China
4) her mom will always be saying negative shit to her

Unfortunately, your only mistake in this situation was not dumping her sooner. Let me explain.

If you dump a girl “too fast,” one who was a good fit for you, the consequences are relatively insignificant. You will find someone else who can make you just as happy or possibly happier; assuming you have enough ambition to pursue another relationship. If you allow yourself to get duped by the soul mate propaganda war, you will not find someone else because you aren’t allowing yourself to.

On the other hand, if you mistakenly AVOID dumping a girl you AREN’T a good fit for, the consequences are far more severe. The monotony of a loveless life co-inhabited by a succubus will compulsively strip your existence of all color. But even worse than actually living through such an ordeal is the nagging voice in the back of your head constantly telling you that you might have been able to live a better life if you had the courage to overcome your fear of loss. The unhappiness from a break up with a “good fit” will be temporary; it will last until you find someone else. The unhappiness from staying with a “bad fit” is eternal. It is a mistake that cannot be fixed.

You've already wasted 3 years on this relationship. It's time to cut off all contact and just move on. None of this "let's be friends" BS.

Yes and no. I do really regret not fucking her, I guess the term "nice guys finish last" is true. Last time I ever do something stupid like that! What a fucking idiot I am...

You make some very good points! I guess it's because I haven't gotten another girl yet and haven't found someone else. So right now everything is still her.

Originally Posted by miss_crayon

I'm sorry if this is mean but the more I read your answers the more of a push over I think you are! Stop being a woman and grow the eff up! Stop asking if you should be friends and giving yourself and herself poor excuses "it was in the heat of the moment that I deleted her off FB etc etc" or "I don't think we're sure but I'm sure we can make it work. Even though shes from China, shes fluent in English(read/write), so I don't think she'd have trouble working here and I can work in HK, since I know English/Chinese."

Listen to yourself.

THE RELATIONSHIP IS DONE! Thank your lucky stars she's halfway around the world so you don't have to worry about bumping into her and shit like that. You're 24, not 14. I know the wounds are fresh but you keep telling yourself over and over and over and over AND OVER again that you're perfect for one another which is unhealthy for you.

I agree it's unhealthy, trying not to. But everything right now is reminding me of her cause every Summer, well for the past 2(and now 3) years, it's a time when I take a plane back to China and see her but now I'm taking a plane back but I won't be seeing her. Bittersweet at best.

Originally Posted by !Nhan

you know even if you think/she still does love you, it doesn't change the fact that she broke up with you. people break up with their SO even when they're still in love because it just won't work. it's a hard fact and people will argue that if you love someone you should be with them, but sometimes loving someone also means letting them go for the good. dunno if that makes any sense, but time to move on bud.

I know it doesn't change. She brought it up and I acknowledged in the heat of the moment, which I thought was like the other times were after a day or two, we'll both be calmed down. Guess not, just caught me by left field. Far left field. Time to move on..

Originally Posted by mk1freak

sorry bro, just reading your posts made me think about this song. not sure what they are saying in the song but my friends used to sing this waaaaaay back when they were feeling down and dumped by a girl especially after we sucked back hundreds of coors light. sigh zodiac memories.

so sad

be strong, mourn the loss of something special, make the resolution to never stop looking for that special someone, let her go and move on, you will heal, and you will be a better person for it.

Unfortunately I don't understand mandarin or what the song is about : Trying my best to be strong, days are fine, I get busy and hang out and do shit. But nights is where I get fucked over. (15 hour time difference, Vancouver and China) So when I'm bored at night, I always have her to talk to or at nights I'm always talking to her until like 3am... lol so having this much free time at night is weird and makes my brain think.

Originally Posted by Jason00S2000

So true. I left a girl who I loved and it was VERY hard to do, even though I loved her I knew it was not going to work.


OP, the girl might even love you back still, but let her go dude. If it's meant to be she'll call you.


Focus on being the best man you can possibly be, that will get her attention again, seeing you grabbing life by the balls.

Sucks to here that. That's true...She has my number and everything, if she wants to contact me, than I'm here.

Good advice, going to work my ass off in school and see what happens. I've been slacking a lot but this is probably the best motivation I'll ever have.


Is this normal? I really want to call her or even text her and asks how shes doing and how her other tests went. But at the same time, I don't want to look like a desperate bitch...It's hard to resist contacting her.. very hard lol I actually really want to see her this year and be friends and just hang out and what-not but I guess that's probably not a good decision on my part? Since I was suppose to fly back just for her and even if we aren't dating, I'd still hoped we could hang out because I don't have many friends in China.

I made a personalized calender of us that starts in 2013 with pictures of us on every month and special days. I was gonna give it to her this year, should I throw it out, keep it or should I tell her about it and give it to her?