[El Bastardo]

The following is a reply from the anonymous original poster

Some really great support and advice, I appreciate all this guys.

My biggest frustration with all of this is that I can't TALK to her. Whether it be on the phone or in person for a bit, just to COMMUNICATE and talk things out. I'm learning quickly that it is not her style and it's annoying. She's hiding behind the comfort of text messaging; the ability to carefully construct every word and sentence ahead of time, and convey a certain tone through script. VERSUS just talking in real time and allowing conversation.

In my last relationship, I laid down the law about texting anything other than hello or flirting...as soon as it gets serious, it's trouble. But because this is a new thing, I haven't even had the chance to talk about that yet. Ugh.

So yesterday we texted a bit, some small talk here and there but otherwise seemed fine. She suggested maybe after work today we would meet up. So all day today, I had a great day on the water, and expected to hear from her. I checked in, asked what she was up to and she did the same. Then I mentioned coming by her work like we discussed. Aaaaaaand...NOTHING.

Yeah I'm getting pissed off, and I'm hurt. I know many posts of great advice here were to "not care", and I hear that, I do. I've done that in the past with girls, but I know it's because I wasn't into them as much.

This girl and I had an existing friendship, that evolved into something more, and really led believe something was going on. I'm not new to relationships, I've had many. I'm older now and I know what I want, and when things feel right. And to me it just doesn't make sense why the hell she ceased or limited her contact with me after on small incident that is underwhelmed by all the great things we talked about and said to each other the night before.

Gridlock, your post was very informed, and I think you hit it with Transference. All she needs is her girlfriends to hear her mild complaint to blow it out of proportion and make a direct link from her ex to me.

It's hard to not care when I'm led to believe one thing, and not that I'm TOLD something else; it's that COMMUNICATION ENDS and I'm left hanging, with my own mouse wheel of thoughts in my head that send me into dark places...