[impulseX]

Originally Posted by 8thcivic

Sorry if i didnt make it clear, but shes only giving out her number to people in her class who ask. Also she actually does let other people know that she has a bf, well thats how we solved the first arguement by telling her to let them know shes taken.. And the way she talked to that guy about the steak, she saids thats how she talks to other friends including some girls. It may not seem like flirting to her but to me it does. Also i do not plan on talking to other girls to make her jealous and stuff. Please dont say "get rid of her" or "dump her" because i really love this girl and i would do anything to keep us together. I hope she would do the same too. So thats why im here asking for help and seeing what ur thoughts are so i can improve and stop being jealous.

Spoiler!

i'll be straight up honest with you. it'll be a matter of time before she leaves you. how do i know? i was in a similar situation. not detail for detail, but close enough.

she begins the constant back and forth flirt texting because she's interested, or he shows interest, or both. even when you're around, she'll do it, because she can't get enough of it. why? because she's actually interested. she won't notice what she's doing until you point it out to her. immediately she'll defend herself. telling you they're just friends, blah blah blah. but the moment you point it out, security system activates and she's slightly more cautious. which is why you've noticed she's done it a little less, but is still continuing. it upsets you, but by now you kinda get the hint that something is going on.

of course when you talked, she'll tell you that she told them she has a bf, but is that her exact words? or did she twist it in a way that has her options still open? think of it this way, all she has to do is tell you that they're just friends, to try and get you to relax. i mean, she has you already, so its not like she has to fight to keep you around. she can just say the right things to keep you strung on. (ie. i'm hungry, come drive me. and you do. if you say something like make something to eat, she immediately gets mad, because thats not the treatment she's used to) and on the flip side, she can flirt all she wants with the guy, and get to know them, and gauge just how much this other guy will do for her, how much happier she is, and basically, fully explore that option while twisting the whole "i have a bf" line, to sounding like maybe "oh i'm seeing someone, but its not serious" or maybe "we're on a break" or something that gives that guy some hope that if he plays his cards right, he'll get her. its a win win for her because during this phase, theres 2 people giving her all this attention.

with you being unhappy, and "insecure" about this, you're just digging yourself the grave. because inadvertently, you're pushing her away, because from the way it sounds, she's bored, nothing is "fresh" in the relationship. nothing to keep that spark going. which is why she says "you're fun. but he's funner to talk to" she stroked your ego by confirming to you that yes you are fun. but if you really look at it... she's saying that you've gotten boring and this new person is more interesting. the more you try to hang onto her by restricting her, the more she'll want to break free, making it that much easier for this other guy or guys.

what can i suggest to you? well, i'll be honest, when this kind of thing was happening to me, i kept trying to hang onto her, kept trying to keep her happy, but soon, you'll notice when its futile. so the only thing that i can really suggest, is to get ready to let it go, because from the sounds of it, she will leave you sooner or later.

(this is just me comparing the signs i see in your original post and what i've experienced. good luck, but stay strong. the more you bend over backwards for her even when she's not paying much attention to you, the more it'll hurt. you can argue that well if you don't try she's as good as gone, but the way i see it, she's already halfway there)

sorry long read

edit : adding tl;dr

op situation similar to my own situation that happened.

-she shows interest in someone/someone shows interest in her/combination of both
unconcious of her actions, continues even in your face

-when you point it out, she defends self, making excuses and security tightens
*you then notice she does it less, but still continues. you get the hint somethings up

-she assures you the guys know she has a bf, and anything to calm you down because thats what you want to hear
*reality: she might twist the words around to keep new guy at arms length and holding on
**reason: she has you. but she also has him. she has nothing to lose, everything to gain. you're both strung onto her

-jealousy digs your grave. you're pushing her away.
*the more you hold onto her in a jail, the more she'll want to break free

-its futile. give it up. she'll leave sooner or later.
*from sounds of it, she's already halfway gone

-harder you try, more it hurts
-don't try, nothing changes.

-op in a lose lose situation with how the girl is treating him