Quote:
Originally Posted by z3german
I question myself on this all the time but im sure anyone who gives it more thought knows that its such an amazingly loading question given how simple the question is worded.
Am I with her because its easy? Or are there an infinite amount of small things that off the top of my head we could only think of maybe 20% of the full amount? Even thinking of it now its so hard to tell, it is easier, and I do love her, but do i just love her because its so easy and its tried and true given how long we been together, or do I really really love her. It always goes back to the question that can never be answered, "Is this it?".
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Heh, I think I am in a similar position, turning 20 next month and been with the same person for 2+ years. Often have the "this is easy" and "better than nothing" feelings, but lately especially I have more of the "there's more out there" feeling. In the back of my mind I know there is more that I am looking for but I have no idea how to find it. I don't feel like my current relationship is perfect and I don't feel it ever will be, you are probably in different shoes since you would considering putting a ring on it.
There are girls I interact with that are so much smarter and have a better sense of humour than my GF which I really want in my life, but at the end of the day I don't know if I could sustain a relationship with those people, and I don't really see the faults of these girls so I never make up my mind... Perhaps I've been with my current for so long I can't help but to see her faults and the rose tinted glasses have faded. I think it's instinctual for your mind to wander and try to see if there is anywhere you can maximize happiness/satisfaction in your life, it's what makes you not want to work a dead end job etc.
Here's my personal take on the car analogy, if you really want something different than what you have, but you've already invested so much time and money into this one it only makes it worse to move on to the one that better suits you. When I bought my first Miata it was the cheapest (easiest) one I found and I replaced EVERYTHING on it and invested so much time and money into it, a year later I realize that after all the upgrades/repairs it still isn't what I really want and wouldn't make sense in the long term. So I went out and bought a newer, better model that more suited my long term goals.
I can't say I have no regrets even though there is a lot I learned through the process with the first car, I would've saved significant amounts of money and time but
ultimately would've come out on top had I realized what I really wanted earlier in the process. The longer you drag it out the harder it is for both parties, and that's the mentality that made me try to break it off several times.