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Just an update.
The wheels are turning, I ended it in the best way possible with my now ex.
my decision was based on age and what we learn from each other. I still feel we are meant for each other, but this separation will allow us to grow in ways that would either take forever, or just not happen if we stayed together. She needs to grow up and learn money, handle problems independently etc. Whilst i feel i need to learn how to open up and have fun around people, in essence maybe be more childish. I spend so much of my youth trying to grow up where now I feel really closed and not as spontaneous as i would like. It was really emotional when I was breaking it to her yesterday but at least she says she understands that I need to learn at a faster pace than what I am with her. I still love her but I fear if i try to keep the relationship i will hurt her more because I will always question whether I should have dated this other girl, I am just stubborn like that, ideas are really hard to get out of me.
This new girl I will ask out soon i suppose, I havnt been on a first date in like 5 years and i forgot how nerve wracking it is. But i feel this might be better for me, first interracial relationship, only 1 mutual friend on facebook, different city, everything seems so new and fresh. And if she says no I will keep it really casual, i just want to be her friend if anything but a really good one.
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