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Old 11-15-2012, 06:31 PM   #2
mr_chin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rzrshrp View Post
Hi guys, recently been really confused and needed help
This has been killing me for so long:

I met this girl in my lab at school, she's very cool and all; and we got along very well for the first few weeks of school (up until mid October).
It was great fun being around her; she's so cool and funny, and I want nothing more than a long-term friendship with her, srs.
But the thing is, as soon as these first few weeks flew by, and our friendship sorta "expanded" to a couple other people, I feel she's so distant now. I don't know why, but it really feels bad, I ask her to hang out, she doesn't even respond, she just says "yeah", and it seems she prefers our newer friends over me now? Why is this? We don't even laugh like retards/make crazy jokes anymore. I will admit, I tried doing the whole alpha thing, being confident/cocky/funny, and maybe that is why? Maybe I went too far? That's all I can think of that I did differently after those few weeks, but I figured we were really tight, and small insults were usual in good friendships. Fast forward to now semester's almost over, and have no classes with her next semester, but she has classes with the other members of the crew, which could lead to me being phased out completely. Is there any way I can go back to the good days and "re-strengthen" the friendship? I know it sounds stupid, but I'm just really confused. Do I just cut it off here? Cause in all honesty, at this rate I don't think she will be for hanging out one on one and what not; but for the first time I got attached to someone, and it just hurts to have it end so fast, the memories we shared are painful to me now as I fear it will never be the same, is there anything I can do to bring it back? I feel as if there is a way to fix it, however, cause she initially liked me for being me, and started distancing from me when I became too "alpha" or whatever.

Thanks for your help, guys
Sorry you're going through this. Maybe you should express how you feel about your friendship with her. Maybe deep down inside that she feels the same but assumes that you've bonded with this group and that you've changed.

Try not to be too direct. Maybe get her something like a breakfast or something in a one on one situation and then slowly slide your conversation into something like "don't you just miss the old days when we used to laugh so much together?" etc.

Try to play it smooth so it doesn't seem like you're forcing it onto her. If she still goes yeah maybe no etc. Just enter the awkward silent and eventually she'll go "i gotta go", etc. Then pull your last card by holding her back and get into your serious mode and ask her straight up what the problem is. Tell her how you feel about your friendship with her and how you want it to be like the old again.

Better find the answer now than go on stressing about it.
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