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Marco.911 · 11-15-2012, 06:46 PM

Serious discussion only please.

I am dating someone right now and things seem to be awesome. We are very much in love with one another and the world looks like it's moving into a great direction.

The only problem is a serious insecurity that I have. A part of me wants to call it something else but I am not sure what else to call it.

I am in my 30s and I'm not rich. In fact, I suffered a failed business and I'm pretty much starting over financially. I have many wealthy friends and they are similar in age with expensive cars and homes etc.

Long story short, I feel like a failure and a loser. I still have quite a bit of debt to take care of and once that's done, then I will be in a position to start making money again. After the business going under due to economy in the US, I've decided that I am much happier in life with very basic things.

Basic car, basic condo in the burbs etc. I am happier not having the stress of worrying about money since the last 2 years have been horrific on me mentally due to the financial stress.

In my life, I know what makes me happy and living a simple life really is the way to go for me.

My problem is that I am very much in love with someone and there is the possibility of getting married down the road. I often feel like a loser when I am with her because I want to be who I was before. I want to be this man that called the shots, paid for everything, and ran the show. I feel that me being a fun and good person isn't enough.

It seems Vancouver is a city very much based on material and image. I used to be much the same and anyone who says Vancouver is not like that needs to see the rest of the world. It's pretty bad.

I want to be able to provide and be 'the man' for this woman and because I care for her, it drives me to want to be that way. On the flip side, what if I can't deliver on being some kind of power-baller? I have a fear that she will essentially hate me and want to leave.

Please leave your Alpha/Beta comments out of this.

It seems as though everyone in my circle of friends is making $20k a month and I'm probably going to be making $5 or $6k a month doing the regular 9 to 5. Not baller by any means.

This girl will say what all girls say "it doesn't matter" but A) I never believe it when woman say that because in my experience it's horse shit.
B) It's just something I feel this need to deliver on otherwise I feel like a piece of shit.

Am I wrong for thinking this way? How would you suggest I communicate this to her (assuming I should be honest about it)

11-15-2012, 06:46 PM	#1
Marco.911 NOOB, Not Quite a Regular! Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Richmond Posts: 43 Thanked 82 Times in 19 Posts Failed 37 Times in 8 Posts	Is it a self esteem issue? Serious discussion only please. I am dating someone right now and things seem to be awesome. We are very much in love with one another and the world looks like it's moving into a great direction. The only problem is a serious insecurity that I have. A part of me wants to call it something else but I am not sure what else to call it. I am in my 30s and I'm not rich. In fact, I suffered a failed business and I'm pretty much starting over financially. I have many wealthy friends and they are similar in age with expensive cars and homes etc. Long story short, I feel like a failure and a loser. I still have quite a bit of debt to take care of and once that's done, then I will be in a position to start making money again. After the business going under due to economy in the US, I've decided that I am much happier in life with very basic things. Basic car, basic condo in the burbs etc. I am happier not having the stress of worrying about money since the last 2 years have been horrific on me mentally due to the financial stress. In my life, I know what makes me happy and living a simple life really is the way to go for me. My problem is that I am very much in love with someone and there is the possibility of getting married down the road. I often feel like a loser when I am with her because I want to be who I was before. I want to be this man that called the shots, paid for everything, and ran the show. I feel that me being a fun and good person isn't enough. It seems Vancouver is a city very much based on material and image. I used to be much the same and anyone who says Vancouver is not like that needs to see the rest of the world. It's pretty bad. I want to be able to provide and be 'the man' for this woman and because I care for her, it drives me to want to be that way. On the flip side, what if I can't deliver on being some kind of power-baller? I have a fear that she will essentially hate me and want to leave. Please leave your Alpha/Beta comments out of this. It seems as though everyone in my circle of friends is making $20k a month and I'm probably going to be making $5 or $6k a month doing the regular 9 to 5. Not baller by any means. This girl will say what all girls say "it doesn't matter" but A) I never believe it when woman say that because in my experience it's horse shit. B) It's just something I feel this need to deliver on otherwise I feel like a piece of shit. Am I wrong for thinking this way? How would you suggest I communicate this to her (assuming I should be honest about it)