[Mr.HappySilp]

I think I can relate to the OP.
Not many friends and the people I work with are nice and fun people to be with but we usually don't hang out (like a few times a year) most of them already have a bf/gf and they usually only brings their other half out so not much luck there.
Did speed dating a few times didn't work out. Well I did meet someone but things don't work out. The thing with speed dating is that with only 5mins each person is hard to get to know them and also I say half of the people there aren't really looking to date but more of an even to hang out and have fun. Also you only see maybe 15 to 20ppl each time.
I turn to online dating which is nicer. I like it because I can check my matches anytime I like (if I feel tired that day I don't have to log in), their profile is there so you can read it and see if that is a potential match, match being deliver to you so you don't have to work.
I started this online dating since End of Sept I think. Dated 2 girls around Oct/Nov. Both didn't work out. One girl was getting pretty serious and we have a lot connections but there are some things that just didn't match. It was fun while it lasted and we still chat as friends no biggie there.

I just meet with 3 different girls last week (one sat, one sun and one tue). Already have plans to see them again next week. Coming up seeing 2 other girls this Sat and Sun. So pretty good so far. I don't take it too serious (learn from mistake) just go with the flow, have fun and that's it. My advice is don't take it too seriously till you know you are at that stage. Just think of meeting different people and becoming friends, that will go a lot smoothly.

I think what the OP lack is confident. Also he might feel embarrass that he is using online dating service. Nothing to be embarrass about. Lot's of people use it these days. In fact a lot of professional people use it. I been out with school teachers, engineers, girls with PHD their own business....... lot's of different topics and stories to share.

I also find is good to spend more time making a good profile. My online profile took me hours to do it. Remember these people online don't know you. They know you by your profile and the E-mails you sent them. Think of it as applying for a job. The HR don't know you, they know by your resume and cover letter and we spend hours making them look perfect. You have to do the same with your profile. Make it catchy and funny yet don't give too much away. Upload a few pictures that's funny (halloween pic for example), a pic of your pet if you have one(girls love pictures of your pet) and some other ones that show you normally.

Next when you E-mail them match it very catchy yet serious and funny. The first E-mail I sent to my matches are all the same. I made one up and save it so I can just copy and paste and change a few questions from time to time (ie I ask them about Halloween near end Oct now I ask them about their Chirstmas plans). But overall my E-mail is the same. One advantage of Online dating is that is quick. Is like sending E-mails and it doesn't take long. Once you have their interest and they E-mail you back, then you look in their profile in details and ask questions or try to find common interest with them and talk about that. Usually it takes me maybe 10 to 15mins to E-mail my match so is not a lot.

After a few E-mails exchanges (I say at least 3 to 4 E-mail exchanges) casually ask them out for a coffee or movie. I prefer coffee or tea since
1. Is a safe place so the other person feels safer
2. Is easy access (so many coffee place around the city)
3. Is cheap
4. If you don't want to stay you can easily leave so is not an awkward or walk around the park in silence.
5. YOU CAN ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE AND GET TO KNOW HER. Very important. The whole point of meeting up is to know each other more, not to just hang out. Leave that till later. your main goal is to know her, get her to be interested in YOU, setup a 2nd date.

Coffee date should not last longer than 1.5hours. It should be around 45mins to 1hour I say. Too short and you won't know her enough, too long you are giving too much info and also it shows you have nothing better to do. Just casually let her know it was nice knowing her and you like to see her again. Even if you don't like her don't tell her in her face. Let her know is nice knowing her and you will call her that night or the next day. AND ACTUALLY DO IT!!! Don't play games and don't call. Even if you don't like her, still call her and say something like " Hi XXX, I hope you have a fun time tonight, it was nice meeting you and you are a nice girl to hang out and talk to but I don't feel we are really connected, I wish you luck in finding someone." Close it nicely. Not calling her is the worse you can do. If you like her just call and say you really enjoy her company and you wish to know her more and setup a 2nd date.

Few things I learn so far for 1st date
1. Study their profile. Is like your cheat cheat. It TELLS YOU what they like, what they don't like....... go from there. Is so easy to come up with topics once you do this.
2. Never talk about work. They already work for 8hours that day or the week. They don't need to be reminded again, unless they want to talk about it.
3.Never talk about pass relationships.
4.Have a few funny moments in your life you want to tell. Or if you don't have any use your friend and add something in to make it fun.
5.Take about animals! 9/10 girls loves animals some even have animals. Great if they do ask them more questions about their pets. They will go on forever about it and it shows them that you are interested in their life.
6.Don't talk about games, computers, new CPU........ unless they are into it. Girls don't want to hear about it.
7. Have some funny yet werid questions to ask (refer to the This of that thread in the general section}.
8. Eye contact, but don't stare like a freak or stalker. Have nice posture meaning back straight.
9. Dress business casual or semi casual. Like a nice pair of jeans, with button shirt and a nice pair of shoes. Don't over do it.
10. Don't be shy. Don't be nervous. It should be relaxing and fun.

Yea give online dating a try. The last few girls I meet I went in with 0 expectations and just wanted to meet a new friend over coffee and chat about whatever. In the end 2 out 3 of them call back that night and wanted to meet up again. You don't have to be super model or have good education or a really good job to meet people, you just need the right person to meet you.I don't look good, I don't have a good education, I don't drive, and I certainly don't have a very very good job. You just got to have confident. If one rejects you, don't let it stay in your mind skip to the next one.

Edit if you are having issue with communications I suggest reading a book call How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. A friend suggested it to me when I have issue meeting new people and keeping them interested. Is a really really good book to read.