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What do you mean they can't control the level of the bass? Even if the sound system itself doesn't have control (which is heavily unlikely), the source unit will generally have a bass/treble control and you can always purchase an external attenuator, be it a fixed high-pass filter or a multi-band equalizer, that would go in-line between the source and the subwoofer. Besides, they can always disconnect the system and use the TV's speakers or buy a sound system that isn't a pile of shit.
Carpet will reduce it slightly, but likely not enough to prevent the annoyance unless it's because the sub is physically bouncing while producing sound. In this case, you could just pick up felt feet that you'd normally use on chairs and attach them to the bottom of the sub.
In all likelihood, it's probably the resonant frequency of the walls and/or ceiling that is amplifying the bass coming upstairs coupled with a building design with poor soundproofing. Soundproofing for bass is difficult in an existing building. Applying damping material will reduce vibration and add mass (which reduces the resonant frequency), but depending on the size and scale, will likely be prohibitively expensive. Filtering higher frequency sounds is much easier because they can be absorbed (i.e. egg crate foam on the ceiling), but that will have minimal effect on bass.
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