[Gridlock]

Originally Posted by dinosaur

I kind of went through a similar situation.

I was with a guy for a very long time, but always had this friend who I always felt there was potential with. I am not one for cheating so nothing ever happened, but there was always this feeling when I was around the friend. When my relationship with my bf was in a bad place, I would always think of this friend. I thought several times (and attempted a few) about breaking up with the bf, never specifically to date my friend, but because our relationship just wasn't working.

I never wanted that friend to be the reason we broke up and I never wanted to jump from one relationship to another, so I pushed those feelings aside and continued to be with the bf. Well, years turned into more years and the feelings for my friend NEVER went away and, if anything, grew more. I found it harder and harder to breakup with my bf as there was no CLEAR reason to. Yes, the relationship was 'meh', the sex was bad, the connection was slipping, etc but I figured that happens after a while. Its like a frog in boiling water...when it happens slowly over time, you don't notice it.

The relationship came to a crashing stop through his actions and I was 'free'. My friend was obviously aware of the situation and had decided to confess his feelings for me. It was overwhelming....and amazing! We have been together since and it is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I never knew I could love someone this much.

We joke some times about how "we should have done this years ago"....but, would it have been this good? Would we still be together? Would it have worked if I dumped my bf 'for him'? Would it have been a good idea to start a relationship like that?

Who knows....but I don't regret staying with my ex for so long. What happened happened and maybe it was meant to happen this way. Maybe we would not have been ready for a serious relationship with each other years ago.

I don't know what advice I am really offering here, but I would caution you on breaking up with your current girl for another. Your feelings of guilt may affect your relationship with the friend....it may put too much pressure on a new relationship, etc.

I think, if you do not see a future, you should end it with your gf. End it for that reason, and only that reason. It will leave you in a good place to start something new. Also, if it does not work with your friend, you won't be second guessing the break-up....if there was no future, the end was inevitable regardless of your friend.

I'm glad you hooked up with that guy. Word on the street is he's pretty fucking awesome. And your ex is a douche canoe.