Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuffa
From a girl's point of view, I don't really know how to communicate when I'm upset because sometimes I'm not even sure what I am upset about exactly. It might or might not have to do with the guy or it can be a combination of different things. (ie lack of sleep/hunger that leads to grumpiness)
For me, instead of exploding in anger and ranting about whatever comes up in my mind, I rather take some time to think it through before communicating about what happened. Reason being words that come out while I'm angry might be hurtful and often does not reflect how I truly feel.
And of course when I'm upset that will cause the bf to be upset and it will just turn into a big argument that goes no where except hurting the both of us at the end.
One solution that have worked for me brilliantly so far is email. First of all I let the bf know whenever I'm silent, it means that I am upset/grumpy but I'm just not sure why yet. It doesn't necessary mean he did something wrong. I just need some time/space to process my thoughts.
So when I go to work the next day I will write up an email as to what happened and how it could've lead to my grumpiness. Then we just kinda email/text back and forth during the day and eventually talk it out in person after work.
And this works vice visa whenever there are any issues he wants to bring up as well.
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this just seems so fucking odd to me,
when im upset I know exactly whats making me upset, and I know exactly what resolution I require to make myself un-upset.
I dont understand why a woman would need time to think about why she's upset, if you dont know why your upset, then why the hell even be upset in the first place?
and then if you need time to think, it might be understandable if it was like 1 day to mull it over, but then why do chicks take a week to mull it over?
my now ex gf and i always had this problem, we could never communicate properly because our personalities clashed like this.
When she would get upset, and like you, not even know why she's upset, would give me the silent treatment for a week!
it got to the point where whenever I knew she was upset, i would just say "ok talk to you in a week" then just not give a shit until she was cooled down, and THEN i would always have to probe her as to why she was mad in the first fucking place, then she would blow up at me a week later anyway because it was all bottled up. Then I would always say, why the fuck couldnt we talk about it right away and not waste a week of our time?
what a fucking nightmare it was for me, the entire time.
the next girl I date i'd prefer if she threw plates at me, and atleast hash it out right there on the spot, rather than just go mia for weeks at a time in a hissy fit of rage.
I honestly think its an asian thing. Thats the way her whole family communicated all the time, with silent treatments to eachother for months on end, they would never work it out because the person who brings it up is the one who "gives up the silent war"
whereas me coming from a euro family, we always hashed shit out right on the spot, yelled at eachother and my mom would yank my ears n shit, she still does. But atleast when its over that shit is settled and we eat dinner together and talk about current events.
fuckin childish retarded silent treatments.
I need me a white chick