Quote:
Originally Posted by yogenfruz
So, as a bit of back story for this, just before Valentine's Day, my girlfriend of about 3 years dumped me as she believed we were "becoming two different" and she was "sacrificing too much being with me."
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I think this pretty much put the nail in the coffin for me.
In past relationships, including those with long-time close friends, sometimes this feeling does start to occur.
Point in case, 7 months ago, my best friend of almost 10 years and I got into an argument over something minuscule and retarded, but it escalated in one way or another and I basically ended up saying to his face that I don't want to hang out with him anymore because he's (to be completely direct) uneducated and going nowhere in life.
Now, I said that out of rage, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was the case. It wasn't as if he was heading down a dangerous path that would have had me caught up in it--for all intents and purposes, he was a "good person". But, he had been an academic failure (and was still in school wasting time and tuition money) with no ambitions in life, living off his wealthy parents and essentially spent his time at home playing video games and dicking around.
I realized that him and I had a lot in common: back in high school, we listened to the same music, hung around the same people, worked out together, played the same video games, enjoyed the same foods, etc. etc., but as I was nearing the end of my academic career and had a lot of projects and ambitions moving forward, I felt like hanging out with him and doing the things that we both enjoyed doing was not enough--particularly because he wasn't open to new experiences and much preferred living in the rut that he'd been living in for the past 3 years.
The same happened with my ex of 3 years--in addition to a myriad of other relationship problems, we were just too different, and I actually felt like I
was sacrificing too much just to be with her. As in the case with my friend, whenever my ex and I spent time together, it would only be to do the things that BOTH of had a shared interest in, which left little room for me to explore the other interests and projects that I wanted to pursue.
You start realizing when you spend enough time with any one person (regardless of whether or not the relationship is sexual in nature) that unless both parties are extremely open and willing to try new things that they previously had absolutely no interest in, eventually you'll end up in a rut.
Sometimes, I suppose it's not a bad thing, particularly when you feel like you're at a stage where you can afford to settle down (or just slow down from life to take a breather)--like having to spend 4 years to do school routinely, or having found steady long-termed employment--situations where you don't feel like you have so many other prospects and options that would distract you from being "tied down" with somebody.