[Marshall Placid]

A lot of costs are based on what you are willing to forego and look back on in the future.

Sometimes, it is peer pressure on what your friends or people you know did.

Or, what your parents or her parents want to "show off".

Who is paying? Her parents? You? You and her? I am presuming it is you and her, not parents.

You can only ever have 1 wedding (debatable, but lets just say... 1 wedding).

You should try to make it as best as an occasion you can, with what you can afford.

Women, in my personal opinion (and based on friends, etc.), are much more picky on their wedding. Best thing? Consult your girl-friend.

Are you trying to "tie up" your girl-friend? If so, do this:
Propose to her. Now, you are engaged. Make wedding date 2 or 3 years from proposal date. Now, you have plenty of time to save up and prepare.

--------------------
You mentioned something about first married couple in your circle of friends:

Once you get married, it is still the same old routine with friends = no problem.

Once you get kids... now... that will be different. You'll be taking care of the baby for several months before you can bring him/her out. And, even then, you'll be spending 20% to 40% of your time at the event (with your friends) taking care of the kids. Just something to think about.


---------------------
In any case, in regards to your 3 questions:

1-Wedding:

LOWEST cost:
Go to the city-hall and sign the papers (they might also have a small area where guests can sit down and see you sign the papers.
Low-key/cost:
$10k to $20k
Average:
$20k to $30k
High:
$40k+


Most of the cost will be the wedding banquet. $50 per head, or $500 per table for normal/average Chinese food. $100 per head for above average food.

BOOK EARLY!!!!!!!!!! at least 6 to 8 months in advance if possible.

This is the same for West-coast Pacific cuisine at around $75 to $85.

A lot of cost, 30% or more will be on the wine. WATCH OUT! You can always set a limit of 1 or 2 bottles per tabble.

Flowers: $1k to $3k.

Wedding dress: You can rent one for $500 to $600, or buy for $1k to $5k (your GF can look for deals for "outdated" or "used" wedding dresses... something to pass down to chidren?)

Photographer and photography and videography:

This is a biggie and varies. $500 to $5k.

Limo: $750 or you can borrow one of your parents or friends' car.

can't think of other expenses right now...

2-
Honeymoon:
Do you REALLY need a honeymoon?

If you don't want to spend the $ or don't have the $, postpone it.

Place to live:
Low on money?

Rent, easy solution.

Or, live with your parents (not ideal, but it does happen).

Buy a starter house (referencing my point about putting the wedding off until a few years later, but PROPOSE now....).

------------
Ring?

Cubic Zirconia.

Or other new synthetic diamonds.

IMHO, nobody can really tell the difference, and it boils down simply to a case of what you, yourself and your GF really feel when buying a synthetic ring.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synthetic_diamond
Or, if your GF is really insistent on a REAL ring, but is okay with.... "anything", don't take her spoken words as true... If she is insistent, she wants a real one. Talk to her and discuss.

Parents' permission?

Easy:
If you guys have been together for that many years, and her parents know about this, and your parents and her parents meet at least once a month... that should be no problem... unless their parents disapprove your relationship... OR... the age (which I understand)... So, it is even more important to emphasize that you will be married a few years after the proposal (if that is what you are planning to do: marry a few years later).

But, the bottom line is that it is your life and her life, and you guys get to do whatever you want, regardless of parental permission.

However, I just want to note you guys will have a much easier married life with parental permission (relationship with parents, etc.).

Anyway, good luck.