[miss_crayon]

This is more of a general reply; OP, I apologize if you feel offended or anything but this is not to insult you or anything.

I don't see the rush in marriage. Not just for the OP but the younger generations of today. I remember when I was 18 I always saw myself getting married at 24, having 2 kids by 28. I'm 26 now and all I can think is how stupid I was to give myself a timeline on something as big as marriage and I wouldn't mind the idea if we decided to get married later on (30s etc).

I mean, I get it. Highschool sweethearts/getting married at a young marriage exists and there are success... but how often does it really turn out in their favour? I think people have this mirage that marriage is all about loving one another and how love will win at the end of the day. AHHH, sunshine and rainbows la la la. True, love is part of it...but there are far more than just one factor that makes a relationship work.

For me, being in a long term relationship that has a 99.99% of marriage possibility..I'd have to be content with myself before even considering sharing half of myself with someone else. Where am I with my career? Where do I see myself 3/5/10 etc years from now? What do I like and don't like (in relationships whether it's with family/friends/men)? WHO AM I!??!?!

And lets be honest. Money is important. It can ruin a marriage and for some...make the marriage (gold-diggers). If you're not on the same page on something as big as this...it can be hard.

Finances, do you know how expensive it is to live in general? ~$35,000 is the average household income and using the "expenses" you mentioned...you want to propose, get married, go on a honeymoon, have a (what I assume to be a decent wedding), find a place to live, support your spouse while she finishes school and probably still live a life (having fun, eating out etc etc). You'll be debt before you even say "I do." (this is for the average person...if you're from a wealthy family or wealthy yourself..please disregard this)

Sure, a divorce can be had..but what a waste of time imo to go through the whole marriage process only to try to delete it from your life later on. My niece's parents are the prime example of acting on impulse and not figuring things out when they had the chance. But of course, to each their own.

Now this is for the OP:
At 21..how much of yourself do you really know? How much of your partner do you really know? Especially if you both have been together since you were kids?! Once people start entering the "adult" stage of their life..they start to figure out shit that they never once thought about.

No offense, but to have some of these expenses even listed assures you aren't ready for this step in your life. Not saying it won't happen...but lets be real here. If she IS the one, you can afford to wait a few more years. You'll be surprised how much a persons life can change within 5 years.

But if you do decide to take the plunge, I wish you both the best of luck.


Again, simply my $0.02.