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It's definitely not your fuel-pump. When that goes in the e46M you'll first notice a serious lack of acceleration in your car (worse than limp mode), followed by your car not starting.
Try these things out, in this order, and it should fix your problem:
1. SMG calibration. Really easy to do, takes no time or tools, and is free.
2. Replace your flex disc, aka the guibo. Costs ~$125 IIRC + labor, which is about an hour install. While they're down there, replace the driveshaft bolts as well.
Either way, don't worry about it so much. It's either a free fix or an inexpensive one. Usually when I get the 1st gear shudder I just do an SMG reset and it's fine for months, though I am considering replacing my guibo during my next scheduled maintenance interval just because.
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