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Go out expecting to meet friends. Be genuine about this because people can easily sense what your motives are if they aren't genuine. Talk to girls like you talk to guys (obviously nicer and less bullshit). Girls are normal people, they aren't out to get you and they aren't from another dimension. Sure you may have the thought of dating this cute girl you've met but everyone has that thought once in a while-- hell she might think of that too of you.
From my experience and by no means am I pick up artist or good with the ladies, I however do get compliments on how easily I can talk to... anyone. I guess it's just a feature I have but you really have to be versatile and tailor yourself to the situation-- be fluid. I talk about sex and shit to girls, as long as you make it comfortable.
To change your thought process requires you to go out there and fuck up. Reevaluate what you did wrong and how you are going to improve it later. Challenge yourself, read some books, meet some different people.
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