Quote:
Originally Posted by El Bastardo
The following is an anonymous post from a Revscene member
Her ex continues to message her on the regular just to catch up and I have a feeling that got the best of her emotions. When she came back from Vegas she was distant... and never made an effort to see me. On impulse I called her out and that scared her.
On the same day that she continuously told me she missed me, that evening she decided that she needed things to stop. She wanted to be single - her mind was confused and she felt guilty for moving on so fast. Exclusiveness scared her as she didn't want to have to worry hurting me, not necessarily because she wants to see other guys (I'm the first she's been with that hasn't been labelled a boyfriend.. she's had 2 boyfriends.)
Anyway, it's been about 2-3 weeks since this happened. At the end of things she sent me a couple paragraph texts emphasizing that her feelings for me were real, and I wasn't a rebound. It was more so that she's not ready for another commitment so fast after moving on from her previous relationship. She left the text saying that she still likes me but just needs time alone for a little while and wants to talk on occasion.
Now here's where my emotions come into this. The beginning was very hard to deal - I couldn't focus on school, nauseous feeling in my stomach and lost my appetite. It's come to a point where I can continue conversation with her but it's obvious I still have feelings for her. She says she doesn't know what the future holds for us but wants to go with the flow.
My main question for you guys: should I continue conversation and hope that it eventually leads somewhere more or back off now to save myself from disappointment / it's too late to rekindle that kind of physical relationship?
If you have any questions please ask. will check back regularly and respond!!
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I think you will find your answers in bold above.
You will have people tell you that it is a rebound...maybe it is, maybe it isn't. To be honest, I doesn't really matter because regardless of whatever you want to label it, this is not the right time for you two to be together.
I would suggest you back away and cut contact down to a minimum. She won't be able to heal herself if you are waiting too close and you wont be able to gain some perspective if you are standing next to her.
You both clearly have an interest in each other...if this is genuine, it will be worth it to step away for a few months. If you are going to be hanging out together in some weird grey zone (sleeping together/texting), it will just become more and more complicated.