REVscene Automotive Forum - View Single Post - [Confidential] Topic: How do I get her back?

Noir · 03-11-2014, 10:45 PM

Been there, done that.

1)
Man up and come to terms that there is no way to get around the pain. It's just like surgery (I fucking hate doctors), even though it sucks so bad, some people just HAVE to go through it. If she really mattered that much to you, then it's supposed to hurt that much; so begin to accept that.

2)
This isn't going to help in the pain dept., but it helps in the personal/emotional strength dept. If number 1 above is true and it hurts only because she truly really matters to you, do this: Focus on her happiness, not yours

- Force yourself to be happy that she will (or eventually will) be with someone else. Preferably someone better than you, someone that can provide her more happiness, someone who should deserve her. Even if you have to fake it in the beginning, or lie to yourself. Do it. Whatever, just force this feeling onto you.

When it happened to me, it was my personal mission to prove to myself that I loved her, not myself. Bringing her back only makes me happy, not her; and that I don't want her back if it means ONLY I will be happy but she is not.

When you've come to terms with that; and that you can't win every battles ahead of you; and know how to handle losses when they come, and handle them graciously, I swear you've just become so fucking boss.

Wanna know a funny (not in a ha-ha way) story although it's not related to you. There's only 1 girl in my life that absolutely wrecked me. (Well 2 but the other one was my first girlfriend but that doesn't count - I was just a young pup)

When that thing ended, I was boozing constantly. One of my distinct memories in that time was I was in a party and everyone was getting sloshed. At the end of the night I asked my best bro to just kick my ass. Really really lay it on me and just beat the shit out of me. I don't know why I asked, but it seemed like a good idea at the moment. He knew I was in pain and he was reluctant. But he was drunk, and was I really egging him on so he complied. I got fucking messed up.

Anyways, it didn't fix any of my problems, nor did it aid in the healing process. But that night I found out I sure as hell could take one hell of a beating.

Don't know why I felt like sharing that to you. Maybe I just don't want you to feel that rock-bottom is a lonely place. Lots of guys have dwelled in it, even guys you never would have thought capable of it happening to. Just do your time and one day, you'll be passing along same message to someone else when it's their turn in the hole.

03-11-2014, 10:45 PM	#6
Noir Hypa owned my ass at least once Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Japan Posts: 6,745 Thanked 1,314 Times in 540 Posts Failed 124 Times in 79 Posts	Been there, done that. 1) Man up and come to terms that there is no way to get around the pain. It's just like surgery (I fucking hate doctors), even though it sucks so bad, some people just HAVE to go through it. If she really mattered that much to you, then it's supposed to hurt that much; so begin to accept that. 2) This isn't going to help in the pain dept., but it helps in the personal/emotional strength dept. If number 1 above is true and it hurts only because she truly really matters to you, do this: Focus on her happiness, not yours - Force yourself to be happy that she will (or eventually will) be with someone else. Preferably someone better than you, someone that can provide her more happiness, someone who should deserve her. Even if you have to fake it in the beginning, or lie to yourself. Do it. Whatever, just force this feeling onto you. When it happened to me, it was my personal mission to prove to myself that I loved her, not myself. Bringing her back only makes me happy, not her; and that I don't want her back if it means ONLY I will be happy but she is not. When you've come to terms with that; and that you can't win every battles ahead of you; and know how to handle losses when they come, and handle them graciously, I swear you've just become so fucking boss. Wanna know a funny (not in a ha-ha way) story although it's not related to you. There's only 1 girl in my life that absolutely wrecked me. (Well 2 but the other one was my first girlfriend but that doesn't count - I was just a young pup) When that thing ended, I was boozing constantly. One of my distinct memories in that time was I was in a party and everyone was getting sloshed. At the end of the night I asked my best bro to just kick my ass. Really really lay it on me and just beat the shit out of me. I don't know why I asked, but it seemed like a good idea at the moment. He knew I was in pain and he was reluctant. But he was drunk, and was I really egging him on so he complied. I got fucking messed up. Anyways, it didn't fix any of my problems, nor did it aid in the healing process. But that night I found out I sure as hell could take one hell of a beating. Don't know why I felt like sharing that to you. Maybe I just don't want you to feel that rock-bottom is a lonely place. Lots of guys have dwelled in it, even guys you never would have thought capable of it happening to. Just do your time and one day, you'll be passing along same message to someone else when it's their turn in the hole.